When I was a young girl, I envied Zach and Kelly’s relationship on Saved by the Bell. Kelly was pretty and Zach was so charming; the dynamics of the relationship seemed like perfection. Being that Saved by the Bell provided the most important lessons in my life, I also learned about jealousy in relationships because of Zach and Kelly; and honestly it seemed almost desirable. Watching Zach pine for Kelly’s adoration, only getting more and more wanting of her as A.C Slater threatened his hopes for a relationship, seemed ideal. It’s almost as though I expected for a man to be jealous in a relationship to prove his feelings for her. As time progressed, I realized that was fucking insane to think.
Relationships are hard and they demand so much of each person, complete trust. Jealousy is often romanticized by the media, people getting in fights for the affection of another person is deemed to be evidence of true love. That’s bullshit. Jealousy is like a snake in the night, it sort of creeps up on you and takes hold without letting go. And once you’re stuck in jealousy, once that snake has wrapped itself around you, you lose. Jealousy will kill your relationship and it all starts with that first symptom of insecurity.
Jealousy feeds your fears
Fear is both something we need and don’t need. We need fear to catapult us out of our comfort zone. We don’t need it if it hinders our progress; which is the prime example with jealousy. Jealousy feeds our fears, it’s the whole idea of “what you say, will be”. And trust me, if you put negative shit out there, it will happen.
You become obsessed with spying
Every time you see your significant other on the phone texting, you’ll think its something suspicious; so you begin by just looking over their shoulder when they text. Then you progress to read their messages when they aren’t around and suddenly you find yourself following them on a Sunday evening to make sure they were really going to their mom’s house. That’s crazy!
It’s so toxic
Jealousy is such a dark shadow in your life. It becomes a part of your personality and its something that you carry with you. It’s too heavy and too unnecessary to carry. Let go of that toxicity. No one wants to be around a toxic person, especially your significant other.
Takes up so much time
Do jealous people have jobs? Spying and keeping up with your partner’s daily life is exhausting. How are there enough hours in the day to do that and pay your bills? It’s impossible! It takes way too much time and effort. Try to talk to your partner and connect instead of trying to see what they’re up to when you aren’t around.
Makes you a selfish bitch
This is pretty self-explanatory. Being overly jealous makes you not just obsessed with your partner’s activities but also obsessed with yourself. It’s always about how “you feel” and how that “affects you”. Relationships aren’t just about you! Jealousy is so incredibly selfish and no one wants to be around a selfish bitch.
Eventually you become the one who suffers
Jealousy can suffocate you. Your constant need to affirm your suspicions will take over and become literally painful.
You’ll look hella ugly
You can be Megan Fox on the outside but Chucky on the inside. Jealousy makes you appear ugly to your partner, not on a physical level but more so internally. That internal ugliness then filters exteriorly and scares other people away.
Changes the dynamic
Because relationships are so dependent on the commitment of two people, when one strays it causes an unbalance. You can no longer properly communicate or even want to be around one another. Jealousy pushes people away because they feel like they can’t be themselves without an argument; which leads to the next point.
Creates a controlling partner
Being controlling of another person is repulsive. There is no such thing as a dictator in relationship, it’s equal fucking parts. Don’t attempt to control someone, it’s going to backfire.
Takes away your peace
This one is the most important thing to realize. By being jealous you’re hurting yourself the most. You take away your peace. You have to realize that if you’re in a relationship and feel like jealously is making an appearance, maybe that relationship isn’t the one for you.