When you date someone it’s because both of you have a mutual attraction for one another and want to get to know each other better. But sometimes things can be one-sided, and the other person may not be that interest in you romantically, but are more interested in being intimate with you.
This is lust and it’s not the same as the romantic feelings you may have for this person. This person doesn’t care about your feelings towards them and has no interests in pursuing a relationship with you. They only want to have sex with you, and would prefer to have no strings attached.
Obviously this type of relationship isn’t fair to you and isn’t respectful of your desires, and your feelings. If you’re in a situation like this, then you are only being used for the other persons satisfaction. So how can you tell if this is happening to you?
You guys never go out
You guys never really go out. Maybe you’ve gone out the morning after to get a bite to eat, or maybe at night to pick up some take out while picking up some condoms on the way back. But you two don’t really go out on dates. Usually when you’re dating someone, going on dates is a crucial aspect of the whole ‘dating’ scene.
They only reach out to you to meet up
They never reach out to you to you to ask about your day, or how you are doing. Whenever they talk to you, you can sense what they’re going to ask in the end. They’re going to ask you to come over, and even convince you if you try to refuse. But this is really the only time they contact you so you already know how it goes down.
They never truly seem interested in your life
They only ask you the basic questions like ‘How are you?’, and ‘What’s new?’ as formalities. But you can tell they’re not truly interested because they never try to find out more about your life, or even you. The only thing that interests them about you is your body, and the company you provide them with when they want it.
After sex communication goes down, or ends, until the next time they decide they want to see you
So after you have sex, you think that the two of you will keep up communication and that things went well so something might change for the better. But then they go right back to not answering you or reaching out. When you guys are together they’re only with you in that moment, because they choose to be. But outside of that time spent together, they have their own life, and they’re not interested in having you apart of it.
They make sure to avoid doing or saying anything that makes you feel more than what your are
They avoid any behavior or words that might make you feel ‘special’. You will never hear them say ‘baby,’ ‘bae’ or anything else, unless it’s during sex. They wont hold your hand, bring you flowers, or anything that may make it seem like you’re dating. They want to have you around for sex, but don’t want to make you feel as if it will ever amount to anything else.
The conversations are never deep, and always turn sexual
It’s like you two can never have a deep conversation, and if you try to initiate one it always ends up going dry. The only conversations you two can have are flirty sexual ones. For you those conversations feel played out and boring now, but for them it’s the only thing they can talk to you about because it’s the only interest they have when it comes to you.
They never like to share anything personal about themselves
They might ask you about your life as a way of being polite, but never have anything to really share about themselves. Even when you ask them questions you given very vague, or non-informative responses, that makes their life a compete mystery to you.
Foreplay tends to be overlooked
If you let them, they always want to skip foreplay and go straight to the main event. If there is any foreplay going on, they want to be the receiver rather than the giver. Them not wanting to do foreplay, or make sure that you’re enjoying yourself, shows that they are not truly interested in your feelings or pleasure. They are only thinking about themselves, and if they truly wanted to be with you they would do their best to please you and impress you.
Afterwards they treat you differently
After sex they always treat you differently. During or before sex they seem more compassionate and interested in you, but afterwards they become once again more distant and cold. They treat you more like a friend, or maybe even like a stranger. They don’t take the time afterwards to make you feel important or special to them.
You never meet their friends
They never suggest that you meet their friends, and they’re not at all interested in meet yours. They want to keep you outside of their private life, because for them you’re not someone who is special to them that they would introduce you to their loved ones.
The idea of you sleeping over stresses them out
When they ask you to come over, especially when it’s late at night, you expect that you’ll be sleeping over. But then they’ll give you a bunch of reasons as to why it would be better that you didn’t, but if you do your going to have to leave early because they have stuff to do. They always make you feel like a burden, and if someone was interested in dating you they would make you feel as if they enjoy the time spent with you. They would go out of their way to spend more time with you.