Real Writers. Real Opinions. No Boundaries.

25 Illegitimate Reasons to Stay in Bed (all day)


Let’s face it, your bed will forever be your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. The coziness of the blankets, the firm softness of the pillows, the guarantee that no matter how shit the world outside is that there is nothing but sweet dreams and rainbows beneath those cotton sheets (silk if you’re kinky).

Perhaps I’m romanticizing the boudoir but there’s just an irrefutable safeness in your bedroom that makes it pretty damn hard to leave.

Society allows for very few reasons to stay in bed all day, but we as humans argue that there are plenty of reasons to avoid the outside world and become one with the mattress:

Some of these are geared solely toward women or extremely effeminate men.

  1. When it’s too cold
  2. When it’s too hot
  3. When it’s raining/snowing/hailing (any form of precipitation, really)
  4. When you have a huge zit on your face
  5. When you’re on your period
  6. When you’re having a bad hair day
  7. When you stayed up too late watching Netflix
  8. When you drank too much the night before
  9. When you’re generally just pissed off at the world (for no reason)
  10. When you’re generally just pissed off at the world (for a reason that nobody else takes seriously)
  11. When you’re heartbroken
  12. When you can’t put a good book down
  13. When you can’t stop “marathoning” a show
  14. When you have nothing to wear
  15. When you’re too lazy to shower
  16. When you have no one to hang out with
  17. When your pet wants to snuggle
  18. When your S/O wants to snuggle
  19. When your stuffed animal wants to snuggle
  20. When you’re having a “fat day”
  21. When you  haven’t done the laundry in a month
  22. When you have no money
  23. When you have no food in the house
  24. When you’re fighting with someone

So if tomorrow morning you’re feeling any of these things, don’t be afraid to abandon responsibility for a bit, work isn’t going anywhere.

If you need some convincing, check out this lovely photo gallery, I’ve dubbed, “Bed Porn.” It’s not nearly as risque as it sounds.

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