In order to write this, I have to generalize a tad, so give me a break. Now, we’ve all come across some shitty guys. The guy that we literally cannot believe exists. You know what I mean. The ones that force us to contemplate how in the fucking world they came to be this way. If you’re one of those people that has had the displeasure of meeting a guy like that, I sincerely apologize because I know how scarring the experience can be.
It’s not your fault. Even if you knew he was a dick and decided to give him a chance anyway, that’s not on you. You chose to see the light. You chose to have hope. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ll learn what to look for the next time you meet a seemingly decent guy. I’ve just dealt with so many cases of pure assholes that I’ve decided to categorize them into 3 separate types. Hope this helps you decipher the good ones from the not so good ones.
So, we all know us some players, amirite? But somehow we sometimes decide to give them a chance in hopes that they’ll see how incredible we are and choose to retire from playing the game. We hope to be that girl that can change his mind, change his behavior. First of all, you shouldn’t have to convince anyone that you’re worthy to be with. Second, he won’t adjust his priorities for you, especially if you make it easy for him to get inside your head and convince you that he’s different. Wake up. He’s not worth it.
The Fixer Upper
Ugh. This type of guy is my weak spot. It’s that guy that you know is fucked up, you can see that he has shit going on, that he has edges to smooth out, but you ignore all the signs and decide that he’s worth the chance. You want to be able to fix him because you can see his potential. You know that you can help him. You also know that if some part of him changes, that you two would just fall madly in love with each other and actually be happy together. That’s called hope and it’s a killer. Most of the time you’ll get hurt, you’ll feel heartbroken. He’s dealing with a lot, he has issues. If it seems that he’s holding onto you, it might just be that you’re an escape from all the chaos that just comes flying right back into his mind and life. Yes, it’s okay to notice the potential in someone else and want to help them get there but he has to want it too. You can’t try to “fix” him if he doesn’t want to be “fixed.”
The Lost Guy
Simply put, this guy is lost AF. He doesn’t know what he wants, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and he definitely can’t feel confident in the decisions he makes. Going after a guy like this will only bring you down with him. He’s lost for a reason. He doesn’t feel the need right now to be un-lost. You won’t be able to change his mind and you shouldn’t have to. He’s not ready to take on a serious relationship. It’s just not the right time. A lot of us will ignore that fact and pursue him anyway but I’m telling you to give it some time. You’ll only hurt yourself for trying.