There’s been a point in every broken relationship where you consider going back to the relationship. You’re comfortable, it’s familiar, you’ve convinced yourself that you won’t be able to find anything better so you do everything in your power to get back into the relationship. Unfortunately, a relationship that is broken seldom gets fixed. If you break up once, there’s a good chance that it’s going to happen again, and worse this time around.
I understand it’s hard, but when you break up with someone, it’s in your best interest to stay broken up. Your relationship has gotten to a point where neither one of you thought you could make it work. Chances are, if you’re relationship has gotten to that point once, it will get there again.
I’m a firm believer in working on things in a relationship. However, if you’re past the point of working on your relationship, it may be time to just call it quits and let it go.
Below are the reasons going back to a broken relationship will never work.
Because you never really fix the core issue
If you and your significant other have broken up before, it’s because there was a major issue that never got resolved. Sure, you may have been constantly fighting about nonsense, but there was a bigger reason for those little fights that was never addressed. The reason you broke up in the first place was because you had no idea what the core issue is and there’s a good chance that you won’t know even if you get back together.
Getting back into a broken relationship lends itself to even more pain because the core issue was never resolved. Neither one of you took the time out to speak to each other about what’s really bothering you. You may have been fighting about something as dumb as where to go to dinner, but in reality, the core problem was something much larger than that.
Unless you two try to solve those issues either individually or together, getting back together is just prolonging the inevitable: another break up.
Because there’s too much bitter history
Getting back into a broken relationship that’s already broken is like buying a car you know will give you problems in a couple of months. You try to fix it, but the same issues keep reoccurring. When you get back into bad relationship, the same problems you used to have will likely happen again because you two simply don’t know any other way. Since you never learned to deal with your issues through communication, all the things that happened in the past will continue to be problems.
When you have a bad history with something, it’s like trying to be friends with an ex. It’s near impossible because you already know what to expect from each other and it’s something you hate dealing with. If you ask me, it’s far easier to leave the relationship in the past than having to go through the same thing again.
Because you’ll always bring up the past
No matter how much someone can try to forget about all the things that were done and said in a bad relationship, it’s very hard to actually do it. If you get back together after a bad break up, there’s a good chance that sooner or later, all of the things you hated about each other will surface again. You’ll start bringing up fights you had a year ago and blame each other for things that no longer matter. At the end of the day, it’s a power struggle to regain control.
The past issues will always be a problem if you decide to try and mend your broken relationship because, as I’ve mentioned, the issues were never worked out. So, both of you will kept throwing the past in each other’s faces every time you get into an argument.
Because you’re holding on to an idea
If you really think about it, you don’t actually want to get back together with someone you broke up with, you just like the idea of being with someone. The comfort and familiarity you have with an ex is satisfying, but at it’s core, the relationship simply doesn’t work. However, rather than moving on, you hold on in order to try to make the idea of a healthy relationship work. Spoiler alert: it never will.