Why did I want to write this article? Simple. For a while now I’ve been serial dating. I’m the one date queen. It’s rare that I give someone a second chance to go out again because to put it frank, I know if I like you or not right away and I don’t feel like wasting my time. However, my best friend and my mother, who evidently both want to marry me off, think it’s important that I give people second chances. In other words, they’ve both told me that I must go on a second date with everyone because first impressions don’t tell you who someone is.
Well, I’m here to call bullshit on that. First impressions are all you need to know exactly who a person is.
Think about it: when you’re meeting someone for the first time, you’re going to want to put your best foot forward. You’re going to dress to the nines, make sure you look right, act right, have your shit together. Sure, someone might be nervous, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know who someone is from a first impression; you absolutely do.
So in case someone is telling you that you need to give someone a second chance, here’s why you shouldn’t:
They put their best foot forward
If during the time when someone is supposed to be at their best, they fall short, what does that say about the future? Let me put it to you this way, if you don’t like someone from the first time meeting them, there’s a very slim chance that you’re going to like them moving forward. Someone has to make an impression on you in order for you to want to move forward. If that doesn’t happen, the next time you see them you’re going in with a preconceived notion of what to expect. If you’re already dreading the idea of seeing someone again, don’t give them another shot.
They have to prove themselves
When you meet someone for the first time, you always have to prove yourself. Imagine going on a date. You sit there across from someone you’ve just met and you’re basically giving them your credentials without it being an actual interview. If you can’t come up with someone good enough to make an impression, there’s a problem. Seriously, one time I went on a date with a guy who couldn’t tell me a single good thing about himself. NEXT.
They should be able to get past the nerves
Okay, I get it, a lot of people are nervous going on dates. However, there should come a point in the date when you’ve calmed down and you can be yourself a bit (this usually comes by the second drink). If someone is still on edge halfway through your date, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Seriously.
It shows how prepared they are
If someone isn’t prepared when meeting a person for the first time, it’s a bad sign. It’s a sign of what’s to come. When you’re making a first impression, if you care enough to make a good one, you come prepared. Or you at least prepare as much as you can. If someone isn’t prepared, it basically shows that you DGAF.
I had to learn this one the hard way. Sure I’ve given people a second chance … and then I stopped when I realized it only get’s worse. When you meet someone for the first time and know you don’t like them, chances are you’re not going to like them any better the second time around. Point is, don’t fall down the rabbit hole. If you know how you feel about someone from the first time you meet them, take that as a sign and follow your gut.