If anybody ever tries to tell you being in a relationship that’s ‘meant to be‘ should be easy, tape their mouth shut and kick them off a bridge. Being absolutely committed to somebody, regardless of whether they’re a selfish fuck-wit or God’s gift to mankind, is an enormous adjustment to spending most of your time thinking about yourself. Another key thing to remember is that there is no relationship on the face of this earth that is problem-free. When you see Mr and Mrs Perfection strolling down the street, they’re probably going to scream each other’s earlobes off once they’re behind closed doors.
Relationships needs steady management to prevent crumbling at the foundation, and although every relationship is different, most of them adhere to some simple rules that need to be followed.
Like, all of the time. I know we all sometimes tell white lies to spare people from unnecessary suffering, but lying is one of the most addictive habits out there. There will be times when you entertain the idea of keeping something from your partner, because they’ll probably blow it out of proportion and you’ll make them worry for no reason. But, if they ever find out you kept something from them, two things will happen. You’ll regret not telling them like crazy and they’ll begin to lose trust in you. Honesty is the greatest gift you can give.
The Sex Life:
Dealing with this is almost like a separate relationship on its own. Your sex drive is like a creature that you have to feed and water (don’t dwell on that image for too long), meaning you don’t want to starve it or feed it too much of the same old shit. You can’t just wham-bam every day and expect things to sail smoothly: you have to pace yourselves and shake things up every once in a while. Even if you’re both sex fiends, try to forgo your daily morning and nightly shag (unless an occasion calls for it.) No matter how good it is, you’ll tire of it if you get it too much or develop a problem.
Yes, loving someone is a beautiful experience, and you’re probably entertaining the idea of being with them for the rest of your life. While that’s fantastic, being glued to their side every day isn’t as good as it may seem on paper. Despite how much you may love someone, or they may love you, people always need their own space. Don’t pounce on them as soon as they’re through the door (at least not every single day). You are also allowed to spend nights away from your partner, and should do so every once in a while to keep things fresh. At the end of the day, your lives are still separate.
As in, Don’t. If your partner has done something to upset you -whether they meant to or not-, you need to let them know. You may know everything there is to know about each other, but that doesn’t mean you become psychic. Let them know that you don’t like it when they forget to greet your parents, or when they don’t put your stuff back after using it. Little tidbits like that will mount until you break and instigate an argument for no reason, especially when they have no idea that their actions are pushing your buttons.
So you’ve been together for a few years, and you’re stronger than ever. While that’s a significant achievement (especially in today’s scandalous dating climate), you shouldn’t just hang up your belt and call it a day because things are peachy. How many stories have you heard of dead marriages? No two people are immune to relationship decay: you should always be seeking new ways to bring a smile to your partner’s face. Whether it’s through rituals you’ve kept up since your first date, or surprising them with thoughtful gestures, make sure they never even think twice about whether you love them.
The one golden rule that binds all of these points together, is that you need to be happy when you’re with someone. If this isn’t happening for whatever reason, you either need to address the situation or end it (I would strongly suggest the former).