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50 Thoughts I Have as a Student on the First Day of Spring


Spring is finally here!

We should all be rejoicing, but instead us students are still stuck behind bars. I’ve heard the lecture, save your breath, “we all had to do it. Just shut up and get through it.” You know what, I have every fucking right to complain about an organization I am involved in. It’s my right.

Looking on the bright side, spring arriving means the torture is almost over. Let’s take a closer look at life as a student and run though 50 thoughts I’m having on the first day of spring while still in captivity.

  1. All of us are in this together.
  2. It is proven that we all can get out of school.
  3. Hearing tiny animals outside during school must be what people who are in jail for life feel like daily.
  4. Teachers get way too happy during spring.
  5. At this point, it is biologically impossible to match their happiness.
  6. Teachers are little kids that you have to tire out in order to make them shut up
  7. The problem is they never shut up.
  8. Looking at the seat next to me and seeing that person in agony also gives me hope
  9. I am not in this alone.
  10. Is it a requirement of teacher school applicants to have no empathy?
  11. Were they not in the exact same situation as kids?
  13. Oh, I guess they are sociopaths. Makes sense.
  14. I want to go outside and act like I’m five years old for a week because it’s finally warm.
  15. Is Donald Trump trying to kill us all with Global Warming?
  16. Maybe that’s why winter started in late February and ended in March?
  17. Have you started a calendar that counts down school yet?
  18. I mean I have but I’m trying to not count days before actually they happen.
  19. It’s not working and I’m killing my soul in the process.
  20. Getting any kind of sleep on a school night is physically impossible.
  21. When someone comes to school energetic I want to slit my throat.
  22. I also want to slit my throat when the person who comes to school energetic is the one with the voice of Satan.
  23. Doing homework at home? What is this form of art you speak of, I am unaware?
  24. Oh you mean that when I go home I do not turn on the TV and put my feet up, I take out my math textbook? I appreciate good humor during this time of year.
  25. You ever feel like you’re the only one who finds something funny at first but then realize you are laughing at the amount of homework you have.
  26. I find it ludicrous how parents can handle students, a job and a family like bless your fucking soul.
  27. I greatly enjoy finding peoples individual flaws and silently laughing.
  28. It makes my situation feel better than it really is.
  29. Making fun of someone with their collar not done right makes me feel like such a formal human.
  30. That is, until I’m near tears at 2:16 A.M. over homework.
  31. You may as well put me in A.P. Mandarin as opposed to Kindergarten Math because who knows what any of this is.
  32. And now that it is warm out I am certain to lose focus on the most important part of the class.
  33. I have had more nervous breakdowns because of math in the last three weeks than breakdowns over everything else since I left elementary school.
  34. Warm weather doesn’t help my anxiety, just saying.
  35. Why did no one ever think of putting me in charge of fixing the education system
  36. I could fix this shit-show faster than Trump protests broke out when he was elected.
  37. Why the fuck do I need to take Pre-Calculus; if you are reading this article you know I am clearly not going to be the next fucking Albert Einstein.
  1. Every imperfection of being a student is brought to life when it’s warm.
  3. If you tell me everything is going to be okay one more time I am going to break your fucking jaw
  4. All the fuck-boys are resurrected in the spring.
  5. Now they do not look like immature brats when they take their shirts off in the locker room and causally walk out to ask someone a question.
  6. Oh wait, they still look like immature brats.
  7. It really is true that all the hot girls fall for these idiots.
  8. The only reason I’m rambling about this is because spring has started and its warm.
  9. The hallways smell like shit all of a sudden.
  10. I need to temporarily break my sense of smell because of the insane amount of rich boy cologne.
  11. Girls are not completely innocent either. You all fucking smell like dog ass and I smell like a rose garden.
  12. Why am I so much more mature than these kids? It’s not like I’m complaining to a computer and people I will never meet
  13. “Survive and advance.” – Jim Valvano
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