Ah, the good ole’ “should we, shouldn’t we?” Every group of friends basically has two people that should probably date but won’t ever admit it. If you’re the anomaly that actually takes your friendship with someone and turns it into a relationship, there are some ground rules we need to cover. Remember, just because you were friends first doesn’t mean the relationship is going to be easy.
Make sure you access the situation
How good a friendship do you have with this person? Are you sure a relationship is really the route you want to go. Figure out whether or not the two of you actually have feelings for each other or if you’re just single, bored and don’t know what else to do. Make sure that you’re entering into the dating zone because you want to, not because a mutual friend said something like “OH MY GOD, you two might as well be married.” Taking a friendship to that level can change a lot, so make sure it’s worth it.
Okay, here’s where things get tricky. If you two are really good friends and you think you should start dating, make sure you prepare yourself for the worse. When friends start dating, they might have trouble realizing that they’re no longer just friends and things can turn pretty bad, pretty quick. So, prepare yourself for the fact that the relationship might not work out and you might lose a friend you cherished in the process. If the relationship goes south, it’s hard to go back to just the friendship.
Set boundaries at first
Going from friends to more than that can be tough. So, set boundaries in the beginning. Explain what both of you expect from a relationship, and what you need from it. That way, you can go in with the mindset of already knowing what the other person expects. Because the lines are so blurred in the beginning, setting boundaries can make it a lot easier.
Don’t let the whole world in on it
If you and your friend run in the same social circle, keep the new relationship to yourselves for a bit. See, when you let all of your other friends in on what’s going in, you’re bringing other people into the relationship (along with their opinions). All of a sudden it’s no longer you and the other person, there are a bunch of people chirping in your ear about it. So, if you and your friend decided to take things to the next level, keep it between the two of you until your really figure out what’s going on. If you see the relationship progressing, then you can let everyone know.
Start looking at it as a relationship not a friendship
There are certain things you would do with your friends that you wouldn’t do with your significant other when you just started dating. For example, if you’re best friend isn’t answering your phone call, you call them over and over until they pick up. However, doing that in a relationship makes you look a little crazy. So, understand that you’re not just friends anymore and there are certain relationship rules you should adhere to.
Don’t have sex until you’re really ready
Sex brings the entire relationship to a new level. When you’re just friends with someone and you two decide theres a bit more there and you start dating, you can always go back to being friends if it doesn’t work out. However, if you had sex already, going back to being friends isn’t so easy. Sex is a big step when your in a relationship that has blossomed from a friendship because it really does change everything. So, make sure you’re ready for it.