Relationships come with a lot of positive and beautiful experiences but it also comes with some dark and negative moments. And when those dark moments come up, we can’t help but want to talk to someone about it; someone that isn’t the person involved. Of course, we turn to our friends in these times and spend hours discussing the event and how our partner reacted. And that, my friends, is the day your friends start hating your partner. I’m exaggerating a little bit, kind of but the gist of it is pretty dead on. We want to talk to our friends in order to relieve some of this frustration but we tend to forget that our friends now know something that they shouldn’t necessarily be aware of. If relationships are about two people, why involve more?
Obviously if there is an incident of abuse of any form, someone confessing to a friend can save them from a life that should not be for anyone. However, if your relationship woes are those that plague any couple, there should be some discretion for the sake of the parties involved. Although it is tempting to want to release that pent up energy by gossiping with your friends, it can hard for your friends to ever view your partner or your relationship the same. When you open the forum for discussion on your relationship, you’re going to get some opinions. In turn, your relationship is no longer just yours, it becomes your friends’ too. There is absolutely no need for you to share the details of your relationship with your friends.
Because you’re going to get over it but they won’t
Couples argue and when we’re angry we say things we don’t mean. We always try to go for the jugular in an argument and often times, we get there. So when we make up with our partners, we tend to forget and move on. Our friends, however, will never forget that time your boyfriend said that you were acting childish. Don’t turn your friends against your partner, they have no idea you called him an asshole before he said you were acting immature.
Because you need to make your own decisions
A lot of times, we turn to our friends to make decisions because we don’t trust our own decision-making skills. We want our friends to tell us what to do because it’s easier than having to make the choice ourselves. But you need to learn to make your own decisions. Stop trying to get more opinions from other people, it will only muddle your own thinking.
Because you shouldn’t need their approval
You shouldn’t need approval from your friends to know if you were “right” in an argument with your partner. In the end, seeking their approval will be detrimental to your happiness. There is a saying that says, “Do you want to be in a relationship, or do you want to be right”; you make the choice.
Because you need to be more mature
Running off to gossip about your partner is so juvenile. Think about it, all we do in junior high is talk to our friends about the people we like down to the smallest detail. That’s immature and unhealthy. If you find yourself in the position of needing to gossip about your partner with your friends, then you should rethink your relationship.
Because it’s not fair to your partner
Your partner is not there to defend themselves, thus talking about them is an invasion of their privacy. There are certain aspects of life that one only shares with someone they love and trust so sharing those things with your friends can be disloyal. Don’t compromise the trust your partner has for you because they happened to say something so weird that you just needed to chat about with your friends.
Because your love life should be private
Of course you shouldn’t completely cut yourself off from discussing your relationship, just have a strong understanding of the boundaries. Your life with your partner is private and the details of that don’t need to be shared with your friends or anyone for that matter. Have a good understanding of what are the things you can share versus the things that should stay private. Or better yet, use common sense. If you wouldn’t want your partner’s friends to know certain things about you, chances are your partner feels the same.