While it may be easier to get laid now than any other time in history thanks to online dating, dating in general just outright sucks. If you’re participating in online dating, you will see, conservatively, a million profile asking for a man over six-feet with a bustling career, and also beards. Which can get a little discouraging, especially if you don’t meet all of the criteria.
It doesn’t always suck but for the most part it was can wear you down. Your 20s are supposed to be carefree but by 25 all of the carefree portion of the decade went away while you were in college. Now you must deal with the real world, student loan payments, rent, credit cards and the slowing down of people entering your life as you finish school.
All of those pressures along with societal pressures that go along with being a millennial. From expectations on how you should behave and where you should be in life, it can get to you. Then there’s dating, so on top of all of the expectations placed on you from all of those other directions you also have to deal with the expectations set on you by someone who is dating you. And at 25 start to get pretty serious.
Relationships start to get serious
Back when you went to a bar in college, your expectation was to get drunk and meet someone new, maybe it would lead to sex. At 25 this doesn’t cut it anymore. Women want relationships, at least from dating, rather than random hookups. Your days going around just hooking up and dating around aimlessly decrease. The perspective changes from who you’re enjoying the current moment with to who you might have to spend your future with.
Ideas about people start to change
While you may have been more complacent with somebody in the past over flaws, now you start scrutinizing behaviors. Previous experience and past relationships have harmed the way that you look at people. You may be more quick to end relationships and put up with less bullshit. This however is severely limiting your field in regards to prospective people to date. The other problem is that there seems to be a finite number of people that like you.
You attract the same kind of person
If you’ve ever tried online dating across multiple apps, you may notice that you attract the same type of people or even the same person. This can present a problem in that you’ve already tried this relationship many times with someone very similar and it didn’t go anywhere. Once you start to see a pattern in the type of person that you attract, dating gets very discouraging. The worst is you don’t notice until its too late.
You’re still changing
While you may think that you have your life figured out, you’re still constantly changing and not set in your ways. What may have once seem like an ideal person, can seem repulsive years later. Your criteria, whether it depends on looks, like or even things you hate, changes. You’re not done growing up and this doesn’t always get through to you. This can even happen while you’re still dating someone.
They’re are people that have their life completely figured out but you may not be one of them. You’re stuck in an awkward phase in your life, where you have finished school but haven’t achieved massive success in your career. This combination leads to a drop in your financial resources, which may even mean that you’re living at home, causing weird experiences when you finally want to take someone home for the first time. And may even hamper the types of dates you go on. There are also expectations of the man being able to take care of the bill and this may lead to further financial ruin.
Emotional baggage can catch up to you
Because of past failed relationships and bad dating experiences you now have preconceived notions. Like your ideas about people changing, and attracting the same kind of person, this baggage can also lead you to make some of the bad choices you’ve made before. Your ideas and behaviors will get in the way of successful relationships. It doesn’t mean that it will always ruin relationships, it can be hard to stay out of your own way at times.