Well here we go. Another relationship that went from casual to holy shit are we really doing this is about .5 seconds. Things got serious real fast and it was awesome for a while…until the second thoughts decided to make an appearance. Second thoughts are more than common and usually mean nothing. The only major problem is that you can’t exactly bring them up to your partner out of respect for their feelings. Here’s some common second thoughts and tips that might help you settle down.
Do I actually like them, or do I want to like them?
This thought can creep into your mind after something as small as an ugly snapchat or a cringy Instagram post. That moment of total uncomfortableness is enough to make you wonder what you even see in them. Do you actually like them, or do you like the idea of being with someone? Hmmm there’s only one thing to do. Take your massive friend group text off “do not disturb” and ask them for their opinions. Oh they like him? Okay good, you can like him again. We all have moments like these so don’t feel bad. Do something fun with your partner and you’ll quickly see everything that made you fall for them in the first place.
Oh god, do they still like me?
Your relationship with this person went from friendly to intense real quick. Is there a chance that they didn’t mean for this to happen and now they’re dreading spending time with you? Oh gosh it’s taking them a long time to respond to your text. Ok just give them some distance. buzz buzz “Hey babe :)” PHEW. Alright they still like me, good. You can be the baddest mofo around and still have doubts about how your partner is feeling. Try to keep them to yourself and don’t act on them. If your partner didn’t want to be with you they wouldn’t be. Plain and simple.
Their last name sounds kinda weird with my first…
It’s embarrassing to admit that you’ve even thought about this, but we all do. The thought alone doesn’t necessarily even mean you’ve considered marrying this person, it simply means you are viewing your relationship from a new perspective. A perspective of Christmas cards and awkward office parties. “Hi, we’re the (male last name)” Freaky right. Well good news is you might not even make it that far so you won’t have to worry about that, and if things just so happen to work out then you’ll get used to it. If you really can’t adjust then do what Kim Kardashian West did … get it?
Am I settling?
Well, turns out the one night stand from the bar turned into a serious relationship. You both are working to get your lives together which is nice, but do you deserve to be with someone who already has theirs figured out? I mean then they could help you with yours. Wow that would be so nice. I think I’m only with this person because I don’t think I can do better. Ok just stop right there. You didn’t initiate a relationship with this person because they were your perfect soul mate. You initiated it because you were both extremely compatible. You are not settling, you are with someone who cares about you a lot. Chill.
Why am I also attracted to someone else?
“Gosh I didn’t realize my partner had so many attractive friends … wait am I allowed to think that? Ok I’m over it-oh god no I’m not this is bad.” Relax. It’s nothing but human nature to be attracted to other humans. You can feel attraction to individuals other than your partner even with a story tale relationship. This other person might agree with you on subjects you and your partner can’t even bring up because of the argument it’ll start. This other person might be a million times funnier and you feel he gets you more. Snap out of it, you know you don’t actually like them. You know you’re crazy for your partner and vice versa.
It’ll never work their family hates me…
It sucks to see the person you care about clearly show a disliking for you. For Christ’s sake the woman won’t even say your name correctly. It’s the most aggravating feeling … until it’s just funny. If your partners family really hates you, then just have fun with it! Do totally embarrassing things that make them hate you more, but do not let them influence how you feel about your partner. They’ll love watching you express your feelings for them through random acts of weird shit that pisses their parents off as long as you are both on the same page. So talk about it and start scheming.