If you’re one of those people who says insert-age-here is the new insert-younger-age-here, then you’re old, and everyone around you thinks so, too. With age comes wisdom, hopefully grace, and a boatload of responsibilities, whether you accept them or not. This is what the youngn’s call adulting nowadays, so get used to it.
If you’re one of those grown ups who still thinks everyone else knows what to do except you, then you need some more coffee, and a giant hug, because it’s simply not true. The majority of people out there are just winging it, and clinging onto all those taglines and little idioms that brochures and shoe commericals teach us.
So if you’re in the process of trying to adult, and wondering if you’re doing it right – rest assured, the only rule here is to Just Do It. Oh, and also Be all that you can be and Don’t leave home without it. One of those always applies. So congratulations, as long as you’re following these, then you’re adulting. Now stand up straight like your mother told you to.
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING
Adidas was right, and they should know – they’re the top shoe company in the world.
What’s that? Nike is? Well, at least they’re still trying, right?
And that’s the point – you have to keep going, because only children give up that easily. This applies to all things big, but mostly everything small. Not enough time to do the laundry, shop for groceries, walk the dog, pay the bills, and call your mom on her birthday? Then just look down at those $70 kicks, you grown up, because chances are they’ll tell you to do it, or keep trying.
A DIAMOND IS FOREVER
De Beers was right, or at least right about part of it. The big mileSTONES will matter to you more, because they’ll be what you remember.
That’s not to say go and get hitched right away – that’s an entirely different discussion, and also one that most real adults can’t handle, either. But now is the time to develop those solid life-plans and goals you’ve always talked about. Do you have a life plan? Is it something you see yourself doing forever, or at least until you’re dearly departed?
Then good, you’re an adult, and choosing a path is usually the most difficult part.
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
Did you eat your Wheaties today? No?
Why not? Because they’re kind of bland tasting?
Okay, that’s actually a fair answer…
But you should eat breakfast irregardless of your cereal preference, because being an actual adult means knowing that your body has been around for a really long time now, and there’s no 10-year, 100-thousand mile warranty on it. So if you eat your breakfast, your lunch, and dinner didn’t come out of a microwave, then you’re already more responsible than college-you.
Apple was right, and even though Android users will argue that sentiment, they have to at least admit that that same sentiment is how they even had the option of owning an inferior device (just kidding, you go ahead and use that brick all you want).
Sure, there are plenty of established rules to being a fully-grown person, like being on time, not yelling every time you don’t get your way, and taking out your own garbage. But now that you’re an adult in your own head, you can make your own rules in there as well. Be your own person, just not in that I-wear-pins-with-emo-band-names-on-my-jean-jacket way. This is way more than getting up whenever you feel like on the weekend; this is about doing it your way, because you think it’s the right way. Follow your gut all the way until you have to use your head, and then act like an adult.
And okay fine – if that really means emo pins on your jacket, then go right ahead, you rebel-with-a-socio-progressive-and-fiscally-responsible-cause.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS MONEY CAN’T BUY. FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE’S MASTERCARD
MasterCard was right – except about being accepted everywhere, because they really aren’t. But there’s a lot of stuff you can charge, like fancy dinners, expensive concert tickets, or real leather jackets. But, if you’re smart enough to not buy anything you can’t really afford in cash, then congratulations, you’re more of an adult than nearly the entire population.
Credit card debt is massive, and knowing not to break that glass, or the bank, unless in the case of an emergency, takes real adulting skills.
I’M LOVIN’ IT
McDonald’s wasn’t right – because this slogan really doesn’t make that much sense. What exactly are you lovin’? The prices? The food? Can’t be the food, no matter how tasty those golden cholesterol sticks are.
However, as an adult, you should be loving it (and also using less apostrophes to abbreviate one letter off the end of a verb). Adulting also means knowing that not everything is going to go your way, and being okay with that. Drop the stress for the things that don’t matter, and work on yourself, your loved ones, and don’t stress-eat so much fast food. If you’re doing that already, then congratulations – you’re on your way to becoming one of The Few, The Proud…