Break ups are nasty. Everyone always blames the other person and it can be hard to determine who is really at fault. There is often a time before a break up, obviously, where things are going terribly. You fight all the time. You’re never happy. You stress about your relationship, and no one know how to make it better. Well, here’s some tips to determine if you’re the one ruining your relationship before it explodes.
You never go out of your way to do something nice
Everyone wants their relationship to be easy, something you don’t have to think about or work too hard at, but that’s just never the case. Relationships require you to go out of your way often. That means random acts of kindness and celebrating those holidays (even if you hate them). Relationships are work. Once all the work falls on your partner, it might be time to reevaluate your strategy.
You won’t compromise
Compromise, as I’m sure you’ve heard, is important. If compromising always falls on one of the two people involved in a relationship, there will be problems. Think about all the compromising you’ve done recently. If you haven’t been to a shitty restaurant or a terrible movie in the last couple months, you might be the problem.
All your significant others have said the same thing
This is the classic “If it walks like a duck…” logic. If you’re constantly being called out for the same problem while in relationships with different people, it might just be your fault.
Everything your partner does starts to drive you insane
This is more a reflection of you than it is of him or her. If everything annoys you, you’re not in a great emotional state and something needs to change. Sure, you’re always going to find a few things that get to you. He snores. The way she eats. He drinks a glass of milk while he eats cereal, which is just way too much dairy. Little things like that are going to pop up throughout the entirety of your relationship. But if you can’t go one day without finding multiple problems with your significant other, either you’re discontented with yourself or you are in a relationship with the wrong person.
Your partner’s friends hate you
It’s perfectly reasonable to think that a few of your significant other’s friends won’t like you and that’s okay. Everyone needs somebody to talk shit to about their boyfriend or girlfriend. However, if you wake up one day and find that all his or her friends do not like you, you might be the problem. This either means that you fight so often that he or she has turned everyone against you or you’ve been an asshole to all of them in person. Either way you’re at fault. At some point, the relationship will fail because of all the negativity surrounding it. You don’t need to have everyone on your side, but if no one is you might be in trouble.
You always feel like nothing is your fault
The fact is that there will be times when you are wrong. That’s just human nature. And statistics. It won’t be just once, or twice, it will be a lot, and, to be in a healthy relationship, you need to come to terms with that. Relationships fail when the balance starts to tip and both parties just blame the other person. Probably, the blame will never solely lie with one of you. It will be partially the fault of both sides. Adults understand this and healthy relationships are built upon that understanding. Learn to take responsibilities for what you do and be cool with it. Your relationship will never survive if you don’t.