Relationships are equally fulfilling as they are frustrating. Most of us can spend a majority of our lives searching for “the one” and might not ever find it. Those selected relationship wanderers will probably end up dating some loser and wondering why they won’t marry us. These losers won’t marry us because they aren’t interested in us enough to call us their girlfriend in the first place. Someone who doesn’t want to associate with you shouldn’t be someone you hope will marry you. If you find yourself dating a “bare” as I call it, run away as fast as you can.
A “bare” is the person you date who only does the bare minimum in the relationship. They don’t put in any effort in making the relationship stronger or more lasting because they don’t care to do it. Actually caring about a person is pretty much the criteria to have a success relationship in the first place so you can’t waste your precious time trying to make something work that shouldn’t. With all the dating blunders out there, how can you possibly trust yourself enough to distinguish between a bare and a beau?
You’re the only one sacrificing
If you’re constantly the one that ditches your friends for a last minute rendezvous with your current bare, then you know they are not the one for you. You shouldn’t be the only person who sacrifices in the relationship. It takes two to tango and in order for it to work, you both got to put the work in. It’s never going anywhere if you are the only one giving something up for them.
It’s all about them
The only time you can be together is when it’s convenient for them. This goes hand-in-hand with the lack of sacrifice in the relationship. You shouldn’t have to always work around someone else’s convenience. It’s not always about them, it should be about you too. Being completely self-absorbed is not in the definition for a partnership.
You plan everything
If it’s your birthday, you decide the restaurant and time, if it’s any event for that matter, you decide every aspect of the evening down to the dress code. If they aren’t planning some dates, they don’t have enough interest to know what you would enjoy doing. It’s much more meaningful when you’re with someone who likes to plan things for you.
They don’t ask about you ever
If they go on and on about their day, their friends and their life without even mentioning you, then they are a total asshole and a definite bare. They should have in interest in you. Your partner should be all about you most of the time. They don’t have time to talk about themselves so damn much because they’re too busy asking about you.
They don’t communicate at all
If your partner avoids your messages, calls and doesn’t spend time with you then they aren’t an ideal mate. If they aren’t talking to you, it’s because they don’t want to. You deserve more than bullying your significant other into talking to you. Communication is key to be a successful pair.
Nothing ever changes
It’s the same cycle day after day and nothing seems to change or improve. In a relationship, you want to be with someone who wants to grow and evolve with you. You need an actual partner, not someone you’re trying to make into one. People don’t change and if they are only providing the bare minimum now, it’s likely to continue as time progresses.