You’ve been together for a few (pick: days, weeks, or hours) now, and something just seems off about the (pick: relationship, f-buddy, love of your life). So you have questions, and that’s perfectly normal, since nothing is ever for sure, especially in the dating world.
But if your doubts are lingering longer than your urge to go about your day like a normal, well-adjusted adult, then perhaps you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself a very important question.
Are you a side chick? Here are six reasons for you to rethink your place in his (or her) heart.
He doesn’t call or text you
Ever. Not even at midnight. Sometimes, he’ll respond with an eggplant emoji, at which point you’ll send back a smiley face followed by a heart. But while you’re laughing on the inside, he’s trying to keep you on board with the least amount of characters wasted.
He pays occasionally
He buys the condoms and lube, and sometimes coffee in the morning (if you’re lucky enough to stay overnight). Everything else, you’re on your own because he’s not even there to eat, drink, or be merry with you. You’re his after-party, girlfriend. Not to be mistaken for an after-party girlfriend, which, actually sounds like it should be a thing.
He’s giving you no signals
Forget mixed signals – he’s not even turning on his blinkers for you anymore. Any time you bring up anything resembling a moving-forward discussion or a what-exactly-are-we conversation, he moves in with a tongue kiss. It’s pretty obvious what he’s doing – he’s shoving his tongue down your question-maker, so you’ll ignore the future. Forest for the trees, young padawan, and unfortunately you’re just a leaf.
You haven’t met anyone resembling a friend
If you’ve only been seeing the other person for a few hours or a few days, then you should ignore this one. And if you fit the above, but still think it’s weird that he hasn’t introduced you to anyone, then you’re a little (read: a lot) too clingy, and maybe just walk away to recoup your losses.
But if you’ve been together for a while, and you haven’t met anyone he knows by appointment, then yeah, he’s not introducing you to anyone ever. He’s not hiding them from you, he’s trying to not get caught, and the best way to hide your tracks is to never let anyone know you were wearing shoes on the side.
You have no proof of anything you’ve been told
Does he really work where he says he does? Is he a self-proclaimed doctor who calls you his sweet thang? Well then you’re either dating Rufus or Chaka Khan, or you’ve been had, literally and figuratively. Plus, if he was really a doctor, he would have told you all about his day twice, and called himself a hero at least once before you’re finished reading this sentence.
You’re asking yourself this question, at all
If you’re even thinking that you might be a side chick, then you probably are one. And if you haven’t asked your partner as to what the hell is up with the two of you, then maybe you’re helping him make it easier to treat you that way. You need someone to Dr. Phil you out of this funky relationship status, so if have a phone-a-friend available, it’s time to borrow some sense.