Parents have 18 years to whip their children into shape for the world. We’re given rules at young age to follow, that become more intricate as we grow up. There are a few bullshit things parents commonly teach children and honestly need to stop.
“If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything.”
On the contrary Mom and Dad. If something needs to said you need to say it. As you got older and matured I’m sure this became clear. While this was a good rule for the playground, it’s the easiest way to become a human doormat. How many times have you thought of an idea and told others about it, only to discover flaws you would’ve never seen if it hadn’t been for their perspective? Sure you would’ve loved for them to support you instead of trash your idea, but we both know that’s not practical. Be the person known for the “Well someone had to say it!” moments, because while it may start a short lived argument, people will respect you for this. Sorry Mom and Dad.
“You can be anything you want when you grow up”
You almost had it Mom and Dad, but not quite. You can be anything you want when you grow up IF you work hard for it. Parents want their kids to dream big, but need to take the time to acknowledge their child’s strengths and weaknesses and work with them to put them in their most successful position. Once these are on the table parents can help their children achieve their biggest realistic dreams instead of having them expect the world, only to be let down.
“You’re too young to understand”
I specifically remember my parents telling me this after asking what the big deal with Pink Floyd’s, “Another Brick in the Wall” was. They would go on and on about the liberation behind it, but I just liked it because of the man screaming at the children to eat the meat so they could have their pudding… My point is, I felt so inferior to my parents. Do they not realize I set up their iPhones and taught them things they couldn’t understand because they were too old? Teaching kids this gives them this idea that everything will make sense when you grow up. What should be taught is “You may be too young to completely understand this, but let me see if I can make it relate to you”, to inspire further curiosity and interest from a young age.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover”
If you go to a job interview in pajamas, do you really expect the employer to only judge you based on your skills? No, you look like a slob. We all know the importance of a good first impression. There’s a reason you don’t converse with the crazy looking man who approaches you at night on the street when you’re alone. It’s not because you’re a judgmental bitch, it’s because you have common sense. Not every book out there has a great story within, same goes for people.
“If a boy/girl is mean to you it means they like you!”
Yeah why would it mean they’re just a total asshole? You quickly realized that being called fat and ugly, whether or not it was true, surely didn’t make you feel like someone had a crush on you. But Mom and Dad did say that it means they like you! So here you are, still laughing and flirting with this asshole as they are literally roasting every aspect of yourself. Instead of teaching children this, parents should teach their kids to not let mean comments get to them and to respect themselves enough to put people in their place. Trust me they didn’t steal your playground swing out of love-they just wanted that swing honey.
“Happiness is more important than success”
Happiness by definition is feeling or showing pleasure and contentment. You know Mom and Dad, they make drugs that give you those same feelings… Children need to be taught that success is a vital part of being happy, as it can be defined in many ways. A successful business, relationship, health status, and other personal factors are all things that can make you happy. Once again you have to work for it. You will never be happy sitting on your ass waiting for great things to come to you because that’s just not how it works. Teach your children how to be successful and find happiness while pursuing their goals.