There comes a time in every couple’s relationship where you feel ready for the next step in life together. For some that may mean marriage, for others that may mean moving in together; each couple decides what that next step actually is. I usually regard it as the “serious” step, the point which you decide together to work towards the same goal in your love lives. In the serious step, there can be drastic changes to your overall life as you knew it so being absolutely sure about it is key to its success. In being completely sure about your decision, you have to be 100% on the person you’re with.
We’re human so it’s expected that you will second guess your life decisions but luckily there are several conversations you can have with your partner that will put a lot of your doubts to rest. It’s important to know your partner’s views on certain topics that will answer mostly every question you could ever have about them. So if you’re ready for things to get serious in your relationship, be prepared to ask those questions that are so terrifying yet essential to the success of your relationship. Nobody ever said that love was easy!
How do they feel about marriage?
Marriage is the most common next step for a couple so you need to make sure your partner is on the same page with you regarding it. If your partner is completely head over heels in love with you but doesn’t believe that a piece of paper is necessary for you to be together, what does that mean for you? Obviously if you have dreamt about getting married your entire life, this can be a concerning statement. Even if you’re not prepared to be married tomorrow, knowing their stance on it is necessary for you to plan your future.
Thoughts on children?
Again, there are many people who dream of having a litter of children. You need to know how your partner feels about children and whether their views are in line with your own. In the end, whether you decide to have children or not, being on the same page is the only way the relationship can flourish. So talk about adoption, IVF, all those things you don’t think you need to talk about right now.
How important is sex to you?
Talk about sex with your partner and not the sexy kind of talk, at least for the moment. You need to discuss how important sex is to each other so that you can feel completely comfortable around one another. This conversation will ultimately lead to talk of cheating and monogamy which hopefully goes in your favor. And once all of that awkward conversation is taken care of, you can talk about your favorite sexual positions to lighten the mood a little. If you are only going to sleep with this person forever, they gotta know what you like in the bedroom.
What is our living situation looking like?
Start conversing about all things real estate. Maybe your partner prefers a house to an apartment or maybe you have really strong feelings about having your own bathroom. Understanding each other’s boundaries when it comes to the living situation can help smooth out any future disagreements. I’m sure your mother-in-law living in your house can potentially affect your feelings on moving in together, so educate yourself before there’s no turning back.
What are your career goals?
You need to be with someone who is aspires to be more and do more. If your partner is the type of person who goes about life without set goals, they are probably not a good match for you. Or you can be in a completely different circumstance of a partner that is too obsessed with work and you have to be prepared to spend a lot of time without them. Either way, both of your career goals can affect each other’s life deeply, so be aware.
What is your family life like?
Where will the holidays be spent? Is your partner’s family the type of people that hosts many events that you are expected to be in attendance to? How much commitment does your partner’s family demand of you once you take the serious step forward? Not only will you be fully prepared when those moments come along, you’ll get a really great idea of how your partner will be as a parent.
Money. It needs no question mark.
Money is the cause of most divorces, separations and arguments. In my opinion, it is the most awkward conversation to have with any person on the face of the planet. But you have to talk about money; it makes the world go round so don’t get dizzy.