You think you’re in love and you’re over the moon. Your stomach is filled with butterflies and your heart overjoyed. Then your partner surprises you with the unexpected and says they have to move. Pro, they want you to come. Con, you have to leave this city, your city. You have to relocate.
It’s going to be okay. We are going to get through this together. Essentially, I’ve come up with some questions for you to think about and mull over. Without further ado, there are 7 things to reconsider when relocating for love:
What if you break up?
Yeah, dum dum what are you going to do. Oh, I know. You are going to resent the absolute living hell out of your partner. You’re going to say things like “But I moved here for you” or “I left my life for you.” Listen, you stupid idiot this was a decision you made too. You know as much as we try to stick to one path, life has other plans. It sounds like a good idea to move for this one person because at that point in time you’re madly in love with them. if your lucky that sticks, and if you’re not it is okay. You learn, you take it with you, and grow from it.
Have the two of you lovebirds decided how you are going to live in this new city. Just because you decide to move for this person doesn’t necessarily mean that you two will live together. I should stress that it is not a given. The two of you need to discuss how things will be once you two are in this new city. Will you two be living together? Will you each have your own apartment? Do you have the funds to rent your own place? Job? It is a lot to talk about but it’s imperative that you discuss it before you move. If not, this is how problems occur. The alternative is to have a discussion after you move, which I’m going to go ahead and tell you will not go as smoothly.
Long Term Future?
Have the two of you even talked about being together long term? Have the phrases ‘long term’, ‘marriage’ or ‘children’ come up at all? Okay, you guys don’t have to be talking about marriage or children, but definitely expressed that you’re seriously committed to one another. If that isn’t the case it might be too soon to uproot your life for this one person. Let me run something by you, if the thought of you being with this person 5 years from now freaks you out, you might not want to move. The two of you have to have an understanding of your futures as individuals and couples before you can more forward.
Here Comes the Money?
This isn’t even necessarily about a job. This is about having the financial means to justify saying up. If you my friend have $500 in your savings account and have a maxed out credit card to pay, moving is not for you. When you move you need to save money saved up. It’s imperative because you have to be capable of supporting yourself. Yes, you partner can help support you, but they can’t be the only one. You can’t bank on that. Running through your money and not having any in a new city with no job prospects can be terrifying. If you’re planning to move make sure you can financially support yourself, have the love and support of your partner, and a job a lined up would probably help too.
Everyone Your Leaving?
It’s important to consider what you’re leaving behind too. Think about all the friends, family, and memories you have with a place. You might have lived in this one place your entire life and the thought of leaving it is terrifying. Make sure you really consider what you’re leaving behind. Additionally, be confident in how you feel for your partner because if you don’t you relocating is doomed from the get go.
Going off the previous topic of money. This is absolutely about having a job. If you are going to relocate for someone, one of the first things that come to mind is employment. How else will you keep afloat financially. You should be proactive before you move that way by the time you relocate you have a job lined up. A lot of people know how financially dependent we are on a job. What we overlook is how emotionally important having a job can be. Being unemployed can be emotionally draining, whether it’s constant rejection or just feeling down on yourself. It can become such a burden on a relationship as well, so be mindful of this!!
Is your love for this person infinitely greater than the life and city you live now?
This is the big one. I wasn’t going to pull any punches with this list. Unfortunately, if you answer to this question isn’t yes then don’t move. Plain and simple. You’ll find someone that will make you say yes. When you find someone where your love for this one person exceeds that of an entire city filled with memories and familiar faces you’ll know. From there all the rational questions will come out and everything will make sense. Until then live your best life.