I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that when it comes to the opposite sex, we all very often can be “out of the loop” or “not on the same page” (or maybe just men. or maybe just me…). More plainly, we have no idea sometimes what you want. And sometimes we would like to have an idea, but it is rough.
We do our best, give it the ole college try, but sometimes we fall short simply because we don’t have all the facts. Although these things vary from person to person, in the spirit of open communication, here are 7 things that men often expect when having sex with somebody for the first time.
Women, maybe a reciprocal article? It is only fair…
Be Invested In the Moment
This should come as a no brainer. Even If you are having a good time, if you are not very animated then we will think you are not interested. And contrary to 1950s propaganda, men do feel. Namely, we can feel pretty nervous about whether or not you are enjoying yourself (definitely if it isn’t simply a one night stand). Slow and romantic is fine when you are dating, but a first time with each other should be pretty intense.
Like I said. We have no fucking idea… a lot of the time. Yes, much of the time we want to figure it out ourselves, like when we don’t want to ask for directions on a road trip. But sometimes we really need directions. So if you are honest with us about what is and what is not working it will be more fun for both of us.
Confidence is sexy in all things. But especially in the bedroom. You don’t need to be a dominatrix to know what you want. It is not even just sexual. It is human. Knowing what you want is always admirable. When you add sex into the mix, it is arousing.
You probably have some hard limits. And that’s okay. You are a human being not an object. But doing the same thing over and over and over again can get boring. So be open to switching things up in certain ways. And on the positive side, if you have certain things that you’re worried about introducing, you being accommodating to him will probably make him more likely to return the favor.
Nobody likes to be shut down. This is sort of related to being open. But not exactly. If you can’t find it within yourself to engage in whatever freaky thing he wants to try, at least suppress your urge to roll your eyes, or laugh. That sucks for him. But yea, if he wants to wear bunny outfits, you don’t have to. That’s weird. But don’t beat him into the ground about it either.
Be Dominant… Sometimes
Just like a chef, only the perfect amounts of ingredients create a truly magical taste. The same goes for introducing a bit of dominance into the bedroom. For most men, we want to be dominated sometimes in some ways, but don’t go too far unless explicitly given the okay or we might freak out. But a little bit of dominance is almost always welcome, usually desired.
No, you don’t have to roll in the mud or act dirty. However, dirty talk is a huge turn on for most men. You don’t have to be insanely dirty. Nothing too crazy. Just a few little things here and there goes a loooong way. Say his name, and how much you like him doing “X” to you right now… or something.
AND ONE EXTRA:
Worst Case Scenario… Be Understanding
Did he drink too much? Was he nervous out of all proportion? Did his pet guinea pig just die? If he … becomes a poor performer down there, it is not you. He still likes you. And he doesn’t want it to be a big deal. So do your best to be understanding. Maybe go back to foreplay. Or order a pizza. Whatever you do, don’t feel hurt. And don’t make him feel bad either.