Sometimes when dating someone new, who we really like, we end up losing ourselves and sometimes our minds. We end up doing things that aren’t rational, or can be a bit much during the early stages of dating.
You might end up doing things which to you seem sweet and considerate, but to them feels overwhelming. The beginning stages of dating should be easy going and shouldn’t have many conflicts between two people.
But there might be a chance that you’re so blinded by your infatuation that you might not notice that you’re scaring away the person you’re dating. So here’s some advice to keep the relationship going without being cut short and leaving you wondering what you did wrong:
You’re texting and calling them a bit too much
It’s ok to send a few text messages during the day, to catch up with them, wish them a “good morning” or “goodnight”, or see if they’re free to hang out. But if you continuously text them through out the day, without them replying at the same pace or amount as you then you need to reel it back in. Over texting can be overwhelming for the other person, and they’ll feel as though you expecting to much from them, and they’ll feel suffocated. And calling too much is even worse, because at least they can text you back at their leisure, calling can disturb them when they’re busy or make them feel trapped into conversing with you.
You’ve already gone ahead and switched out “like” for “love”
When things are fresh you might want to hold out on using the L word, no not lesbian, but “love.” Now you can use it to describe things that you like or enjoy, or for family members and close friends. But refrain from using the word in a sentence in which they are the subject. Saying love so early on will make them feel pressured and rushed, and no one wants to feel as if they’re being forced into a serious relationship. So for now use “like”, and if you more than like something than say “really like”
You’re already having arguments with them
If you’re already arguing with them, then that’s going to be a red flag. Right now it should still be the honeymoon phase, as the two of you continue to get to know each other. So starting things off with conflict will only give them a glimpse of what they have to look forward to: More arguing.
You’re already discussing your future which seems to include them now
You’re already making plans with them, and no not about what to movie you’re going to see tonight, which is as far into the future as you should be looking. Seriously, keep away from any talk about marriage, kids, moving in, or even meeting each other’s families. It’s way too soon, and you don’t want to make them feel as if they’re already trapped. Future plans are to be made after you guys have made things official, and even after that you should wait until you two are comfortable enough to use the bathroom at the same time.
You tend to overshare things, that are better left not mentioning at the moment
Even though you might feel comfortable enough with them to be more open, there is such a thing as being “too open.” There are some things you should hold on to like your crazy sex stories, strange habits, and if you voted for Trump (depending on where you live you should never mention that, and also fuck you.) But honestly let there be some room for mystery; let them want to get to know you instead of unloading everything on them. Once they say, “I love you,” that’s when they’ve made the choice to open Pandora’s box and let everything out and are able to accept it.
You’re constantly trying to force your way into their life
Don’t try to fit yourself into every aspect of their life. You two aren’t official yet, so right now you have a temporary or a “trial period ” spot in their life. So don’t try to get all their attention, because you have yet to earn it, and you will come off as overwhelming.
You demand things from them, even though you two aren’t in a relationship yet
At the moment you’re not in a position to demand anything from them. So making demands will make them feel as if they’re being tied down before they even got the chance to decide whether or not they want to be with you. Also, you shouldn’t have to demand things from them, it’s more sincere if they do things without you asking, because it shows that it comes from the heart.