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7 Ways to Simplify Your Insanely Hectic Life

To quote teen movie icon/irresponsible asshole sociopath Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” That sentiment has only gotten truer as the 21st century chugs along. It seems as though we waste away our days working to the bone to support a lifestyle that we’re too busy to enjoy. There’s got to be a better way, right? Well, not really, but there are steps you can take towards lessening the debilitating effects of the rat race. So sit down, take a breather, and check out our list of 7 ways to simplify your insanely hectic life.

Sell or Donate Half Your Possessions

Look around your room real quick. Do you REALLY need ten of the same black crewneck t-shirt? Are you REALLY ever going to dust off that copy of Infinite Jest that’s been sitting on your shelf for the last six years, mocking you and your illiteracy? Would your dead grandpa REALLY mind if you got rid of his old corncob pipe collection? You don’t even smoke, dawg. A less cluttered life is a happier life.

Meal Prep on Sunday

It’s all about planning ahead and making your resources last as long as you can. My girlfriend spends every Sunday cooking simple meals, separating them into different tupperware containers, and before you know it, she has lunch and dinner figured out for the entire week. This may be tough if you think variety is the spice of life, but sacrificing a bit of spice for peace of mind is worth it in the long run.

Set Alerts on Your Phone

Speaking of planning ahead, forgetting to do something just adds more unnecessary stress to your life. Make sure that that doesn’t happen by setting alerts on your phone. Consider it the modern day equivalent of tying a piece of thread around your finger. Reminding yourself of your daily responsibilities will make your day to day life all the more easy.

Fill in Your Calendar

Quick: do you know when your taxes are due? When you’ve got to pay rent and utilities every month? What day the garbage and recycling goes out? When you’ve got to give that big presentation for work? Ideally, you won’t even have to think about it, because you marked that shit down in your calendar, son. Good to see you’re learning something here.

Turn off Your Devices Occasionally

Yes, yes, we know. Look, just hear us out, okay? Don’t you find it a little creepy, maybe even borderline dystopian, when you’re out and about and notice that 75% of the people around you have their noses buried in their smartphones? Don’t you want just a little taste of what life was like before the constant e-mails and texts and tweets and news updates about goddamn Donald Fucking Trump ruining everything? Seriously, turn of your devices for an hour. Maybe even a day. Eventually, two days won’t seem so bad. See where we’re going with this?

Phase Out Unnecessary or Negative People

Some people think a small friend pool on Facebook is the sign of a serial killer (or even worse, a catfish), we say it’s the sign of a smart, dignified person who realizes quality is better than quantity. Think about it: how many of the people in your friend pool do you interact with regularly in real life? How many of them regularly post lame or ignorant shit that makes your blood boil or gives you douche chills? How many of them would legitimately be upset if you unfriended and/or blocked them. Only one way to find out…

Get Over Your FOMO and Stay Home

Social media has allowed us, and even encouraged us, to establish the lie that we are constantly living our best lives at all times. That we eat nothing but the fanciest meals, attend nothing but the most super-fun parties, and witness nothing but the prettiest sunsets. We all know it’s bullshit, but we all fall for it nonetheless. We see our friends lying about how exciting their lives are, and we’re afraid of missing out on that fun, so we stretch ourselves to thin in pursuit of that nonexistent ideal. Consider this permission to stay home and relax every once in awhile. Someday you’ll thank us.

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