7 Ways to Tell The Guy You’re Dating is a Piece of Shit, As Told by a Guy

Despite my brief 21 years on this Earth, I’ve seen a lot of relationship drama, especially in the past few years. Not all of them involved me directly, but I’ll admit that I’ve been in a few of them. There’s been times I’ve acted like a piece of shit, but I’ll be the first to say that those moments don’t define who I am. Like the other 7 billion people on this planet, I’m human. I mess up sometimes, but I try to be the best possible partner I can be.

Not everyone shares this outlook. Some partners out there are complete pieces of shit, no matter how much of a facade they put up. It’ll come out eventually. Here are some signs that the dude you’re with is a piece of shit, as told by a guy. And remember, you can’t polish a turd.

He strives for the bare minimum

This can apply to many different aspects of your relationship, whether it be sex, going out on dates, or just flat out talking. Let me preface by saying that any reasonable guy doesn’t go for the bare minimum, but sometimes it happens. Don’t let a few incidences like this worry you. What you should be worried about is a dude who becomes accustomed to the bare minimum, and sees nothing wrong with it. You need to either light a fire under his ass, or just straight up leave his ass. Either option will work in your favor.

He messes around with other girls

If you have to question whether or not he’s cheating on you, that’s a monumental concern. And let me emphasize this, there’s nothing wrong with guys who have girlfriends talking to other girls, as friends. The only time I ever see a problem with this is when it gets flirty. And if it’s your boyfriend who started the flirting with the other girl, then he probably had designs on her, and has considered cheating on you. If your boyfriend isn’t 110% loyal, there’s no reason to be with him.

He doesn’t have his life together, and doesn’t strive to

Moving beyond the core dynamics of your relationship with him, you have to look at his own life as well. Consider where he’s at in life, and what he’s doing with it. Does he have a solid education, and dreams that are actually reasonable to pursue? What does he want to do for a living, and what does he currently do for work right now? If he’s perfectly content with living in his parents’ house working 15 hours a week at a Stop N’ Shop, you should probably dump his ass.

He gets mad when you don’t hang out with him

This irritates the hell out of me. Let it be clear that in every relationship, there should be nights where each partner has the opportunity to just hang out with there closest friends, without their partner. I see no problem in going out for a boys or girls night only, and your partner shouldn’t either. It’s okay if your partner is a little jealous of your friends, but if it gets to the point where you two get into fights over you going out with your friends, he’s probably a piece of shit.

He treats others like shit too

It might be a little hard to see when you’re with him, because chances are he probably treats you the best out of most people he sees. But how he treats the other people in his life, even the ones he doesn’t know, is much more telling. For example, people use the age-old adage of “on a first date at a restaurant, see how the person treats the waiter serving their food.” It’s true, but also look at how they treat their family, and even their friends. If you question whether or not your partner treats people like shit, he probably does. And it’ll be you soon enough if you don’t drop him.

He finds a way to blame things on you

The worst kind of person to be with when you guys are fighting. If he’s going through a rut, he’ll find a way to put the blame on you, even if it isn’t your fault. And even when you do mess up, he’ll take it out on you even worse, and will bring it up constantly in the future despite making amends over the subject. For god’s sake people, just take the blame for when you fuck up, and move on. Life’s short, and there’s no need to dwell on the past. But if he doesn’t do those things, he’s a piece of shit.

What you think about him

I’ll end this by changing perspectives, to you. You need to trust your gut feeling about something. There’s some statistic out there (which is actually pretty true) that your gut feeling tends to be right most of the time. If you’ve got a feeling deep down inside that your partner is a piece of shit, then he probably is. But again, that’s up for you to decide. Because even though someone could possibly be a piece of shit, they could try their absolute hardest to change things. We’re humans, and we fuck up. If somebody has no desire to fix their negative aspects, you’ve got to trust that feeling in your gut. It may be hard to leave someone that you love, but if they don’t want to fix themselves, there’s nothing you can do to help. Pieces of shit belong in the toilet, leave them there.

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Daniel's a senior at UAlbany majoring in English, and minoring in Film Studies and Journalism. His dream is to be a screenwriter someday. If only he could get past the first page.

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