When you like someone, it’s easy to take any little detail as a sign that they’re into you. However, once you’re past high school age, it’s no longer acceptable to assume that someone likes you just because they take an interest in your life or smile at you in a certain way.
It’s really hard to turn off the “crush” part of your brain and look at things rationally, but it’ll save you from a lot of disappointment and embarrassment down the line. In fact, I would say that more often than not, a mixed signal is just an amalgamation of your deep desire to be with someone else, and not actually a confusing vibe that they’re putting out.
So are you living in a delusion? Here are 8 mixed signals that definitely do NOT mean someone is into you like that:
You Have Something in Common
Just because you and your crush are both absolutely obsessed with the same type of video games, or root for the same sports team, or both make your own craft beer, doesn’t mean that they are into you in a romantic or sexual way. Bonding over a common interest is part of human nature, and just because the person you like enjoys discussing it with you doesn’t mean they want to get in your pants. It also doesn’t mean you’re meant to be.
They Accept a Drink at a Bar
Buying someone a drink doesn’t guarantee interest at all. Free alcohol is something that most people are a fan of, and they might think you’re just trying to be nice. This weird sense of transactional entitlement that people have is not only misguided, but it’s creepy. What’re you gonna do next, buy her from her father with a cow?
They Text You a Lot
Honestly, this one is difficult to maneuver. Often, if someone texts you all day, every day, then it’s often a good sign, but not necessarily. People are easily flattered, so the attention might be feeding their egos. Plus, texting is a good way to cure boredom. Responses don’t equal interest, especially if the responses are fairly generic, they don’t ever start the conversation, and you don’t ever actually meet up in person.
This one, too, is often a good sign, but not always. Some people are just straight-up flirty individuals. The way they speak is just suggestive, so they sound like they’re flirting with everyone, from the mailman to their roommate’s girlfriend to you. If you come across a flirty person, it can be difficult to remind yourself that it’s not special attention just for you, but rather the way they choose to interact with people.
They Seem to Find You Attractive
Even if it’s true, finding someone attractive doesn’t mean that they want to sleep with you, date you, or otherwise act on it. So, even if they think you look like a freaking snack, they might be taken or otherwise uninterested. You could be the hottest person ever in their mind, but don’t let that go to your head. It can be perplexing to notice someone checking you out who otherwise wants nothing to do with you, but it’s nice to keep in mind.
They Do Favors For You
A common mistake in the dating world is mistaking kindness for interest. Your coworker might give you the last cookie from the break room or your new friend might let your borrow a book- that doesn’t equate to wanting to bone you (necessarily). A lot of people are thoughtful when it comes to everybody, and while this is a rare commodity in today’s world, it should be appreciated, not confused for sexual interest. Be grateful that someone in this world is looking out for you, and don’t overthink it.
They Like Your Social Media Posts
Oh god. Social media has added a whole new level of weirdness to the whole thing. Sure, someone’s shy way of flirting might be liking your Instagram posts and witty tweets, but generally, it doesn’t guarantee that they “like” you in real life. This might not apply if you post a lot of nude selfies, IDK.
They Do Anything on One of Those “Signs Someone Likes You” Lists
Those lists aren’t real, and if you feel like someone is sending “mixed signals”, they probably aren’t. Grow some balls (or…ovaries?) and just ask your crush on a date. Stop analyzing what you think might be going on in this person’s head and do something about it. Don’t look to Google or even this list for answers. Talk it out like a human being and you’ll have your answer soon enough.