There are all different kinds of friends: introverted friends, extroverted friends, old friends, new friends. What about the man you always say “good morning” to or your neighbor you borrow a cup of butter from sometimes? You can classify them as friends, too! These relationships don’t always have to be close. Some are distant. Some are long-distance.
People value quality and quantity. Sometimes both, other times one or the other. But what about your best friend? Emphasis on the word “best.” What about that friend makes them your “best” one? There are important, probably more important than another of your other friendships. Why? What makes you close?
Here are 8 reasons your best friend is the most important person in your life:
Your best friend has your back. They have your best intentions at heart. They stick up for you, advocate for you. They are not jealous. They are loyal. They are honest. Open. Kind. Understanding. They complement you and call you out when needed. Your best friend does not belittle you for not knowing something – such as what a word means or an important year in history. They don’t shut you down. You do these things for them, too. These components may make your best friend, your best friend.
What are you thinking?
My best friend and I tend to ask each other what are you thinking? It’s in these moments, these moments of uncertainty, that I know that my best friend cares. She knows I do, too. Your best friend may just want to know if you are okay, how you are doing, what you are sad, anxious, happy, or excited about. Sometimes you may not want to answer. They may push you again – really what are you thinking? Whether you choose to answer or not, know that their question has come from love and understanding.
What was your last fight about? Have you had one? No? Well, get in one already! Fighting or arguing will reveal a lot about you as individuals and as friends. With conflict comes resolution. That resolution will make your friendship stronger. It will not build resentment. You can face it, together. They are your best friend – they don’t want to lose you, and you don’t want to lose them.
You and your best friend may talk constantly: over text, on the phone, in person. What about when you don’t? That can be just as potent. If you have a strong friendship, you will feel secure in any “lack of communication.” When my best friend and I are together, we are both present. Yet sometimes not present at all. Maybe you are both listening to a song in the car. You don’t talk and that’s okay. Are you both singing? Maybe one of you. Maybe neither. You just sit, drive, and listen. You are together. There are no “awkward” silences, just silences.
You both are in a group, a social situation. Something happens. Maybe someone told a story badly or someone made a comment that didn’t sit well with you. Glance over to your best friend. Chances are they are already looking at you. Best friends communicate silently. They take note of similar things. While you may not need to discuss that story or that comment later, know that you connected over something simple – something you both acknowledged separately yet together.
What do you guys laugh about? How does it sound? The laugh I mean… My best friend and I have a mutual guy-friend who has said more than once – you sound alike. Of course, we both laugh, asking what do you mean? He responds, I don’t know…you both just laugh at the same thing and at the same pitch. It’s really special. And he’s right, it is. What about when you jinx? Is it rare? In some bizarre (yet not so bizarre way) it’s common for me and my best friend. We get into a “jinxing” war. It stems beyond “you owe me a soda.” The jinx keeps going; it never ends. Our guy-friend just rolls his eyes.
How’s your family? Good? Bad? Present? Absent? You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your best friend. That friend knows the answers to those questions. They probably know more about what you really think of your “loved ones” better than they do. I know my best friend’s answers. She knows mine, too. As your friendship solidifies, you’ll come to realize that your best friend has become your family; the family you chose.
What do they need? What do they want? What would they like? You probably have an idea in your mind. They probably have that idea for you, too. When you both give each other a gift, it does not need to be materialistic. It just needs emotional substance. I recently bought my best friend a $15.99 mug for her birthday. It had a quote that read: “one loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives…” It was worth it.