Even the most even-tempered of us are prone to getting pissed off from time to time, and that’s okay! Most of the time, frustration is a completely rational reaction to a shitty situation and it helps to express it in some respects.
However, one negative tendency we sometimes exhibit as a result of frustration is taking it out on our loved ones. We know that they’ll stand by our side no matter what for the most part, so we subconsciously think it’ll be okay to put them through negativity brought on by our own frustration. One of the most common recipients of this anger can be our significant others, so here are some reasons to keep in mind as to why you should try not to take your frustration out on them.
You might say something you don’t mean
When we’re angry, rationality can go flying out the window. As a result, sometimes we’ll blurt something out without really meaning it. This can be particularly harmful to a significant other, as they might sense some truth to what you say and might hold that insecurity in the back of their head in the future.
They might say something they don’t mean
On the other end of the spectrum, they might be so put off by your actions that they say something they don’t want to say to you. So now you’re both being hurt by the other person as a result of your frustrations, which makes everybody involved feel a lot worse than they want to.
Their perception of you might change
One bout of rage can completely change how a person sees you. For your significant other, it might show them that frustration can overtake you to such a large degree that they’ve never seen before. In turn, they might see this as a sign of things to come, meaning that they now know that you might go off on them whenever you get frustrated.
You might make them feel worthless
If you’re going off on your significant other, you could make them feel like nothing more than a punching bag (hopefully not literally). They might feel like less of a partner and more of just someone for you to yell at. This would make them feel small, as if you’re looking down on them.
They’ll probably tell other people
Your significant other has the right to talk about their problems with other people, and you taking out your frustration on them would definitely qualify. If their friends or family hear about you getting verbally aggressive, they will almost certainly take your significant other’s side and will view you differently in the future. Maintaining a relationship with someone who’s friends and family don’t like you is not healthy.
The recovery time can be extensive
It takes a while for us to put negativity behind us. Depending on to what degree you’re taking your frustrations out on your significant other, it might take them a really long time to get passed it. In some cases, they might not get past it at all. This will lead to way more strain in your relationship than either of you want.
It can cause more fights in the future
You freaking out on your significant other based solely off your own frustrations can create fights in the future. They could keep it in mind hold it in as time goes on, and it’s bound to erupt sooner or later. They also might think that it’s okay for them to take their frustrations out on you, making you both miserable.
It will hinder progress you’ve already made in your relationship
If you’re in the process of making things better in your relationship, taking your frustrations out on your partner will do nothing but set you both way back. All of the effort you’ve both put in up to this point could seem pointless to your partner, which will make them rethink whether or not they even want to work to make your relationship better.