Are you struggling with the crippling loneliness of the single life this holiday season? With record-breaking cold temperatures, it can get pretty frustrating seeing everybody couple off like they’re heading into Noah’s ark. And with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, the pressure to link up with someone can be pressing. But I’m here to tell you the opposite! Embrace your single life options! You’re the king/queen of your fate! But in case you’re still not convinced, here’s some reasons why you should say no to love.
Sometimes you can get blinded by love and not see certain changes in yourself that aren’t necessarily good. We are very eager to please a person we love, even when sometimes it means doing something we wouldn’t ordinarily be on board with. Our friends and family can often see these things and point them out to us, but we will disagree because we’re too damn smitten. Don’t get caught up wishing you had someone to make you better. BE the someone who makes you better. You can’t truly focus on yourself and get to where you want to be when there’s another voice of reason in the shadows.
Don’t Date Because You’re Bored
People will often jump into a relationship because they’d rather be with someone than be alone. This is one of the worst mistakes you can make. It is always much better to be with someone you care for and are compatible with then to choose someone just because they’re an option.
Timing Is Everything
Sometimes you might be single, so you think you can get into a relationship, but it is a good idea to take a step back and really evaluate whether the timing is right. Do you have a stable job? Making enough income to afford a boyfriend/girlfriend? Emotionally available? Have a flexible schedule? These are things we rarely consider when we become intimate with someone. It might hurt to say no to a person because of where you are, but better now than when you’re both invested and feelings really get hurt.
Learn More About Yourself
The best way to truly get to know yourself is to spend time alone. This is where we see what we would really do in certain situations without any bias or input. There are times when we can surprise ourselves on what we do when no one else is watching. Get to truly know your own wants and needs before you decide to bring someone else into your life.
Maybe you’re currently in a relationship and you’re ready to leave. This can be a hell of a decision to make and execute. It’s not always easy to tell someone you love that you need to let go. But you must consider whether the good outweighs the bad. And remember, no matter what, a verbally or physically abusive relationship is NEVER excusable. Time to say no.
Question your beliefs. This is an eye-opening experience that changes our perceptions. I know a lot of people who started questioning their love life, and realized they either didn’t believe in love, or did for the wrong reasons.
“Sex is not a game. It gives rise to very real enduring emotional and practical consequences.” This quote from Stoic Philosopher Epictetus is my favorite as to why I don’t sleep with people until a stable relationship has been implemented. Don’t use love to get sex, and don’t use sex to get love.
Lots of people become dependent on their significant other during a relationship. Being single and alone, though tough at times, makes you nut up and do things for yourself more. Whether it be changing a flat tire, or getting your own beers from the fridge. Don’t become reliant on other people, because when push comes to shove, you’re all that you’ve got.