Without a doubt, there are so many pains and heartbreaks when it comes to relationships that it ends up making people become fearful of getting into new ones. But what happens when, after a while, someone comes into your life and gets you all wonderful and happy again? Are the fears of the past going to hold you out from experiencing happiness and love again?
It’s understandable to be scared when getting in a relationship because of how all of the hurt resurfaces back into your mind. Yet, the more walls we build in fear of the past will only lead to an unhealthy life and view of the world. Here are 8 reasons why you should not be afraid of getting in a relationship.
There are benefits you can reap from getting in relationships
One of the underlining aspects of a relationship is love. When you’re in a relationship, you become a more giving, caring, and understanding person, and all of this is benefits that can help you open up to something you never thought was possible. So, if you’re scared about dipping into a relationship, think about the benefits of it and how love can extend further than your circle.
The good moments outweigh the bad moments
Whenever we have fears and doubts about getting into a relationship with someone, we often determine our decision based on the experiences we had in the past. However, the kind of moments we conjure up from past relationships are usually the bad ones. There are many cases of relationships, which once were hopeful and promising, that deteriorated because of conflicts that got in the way. Sometimes, it’s so bad that it leaves you resentful. But was it all that bad all the time? I choose not to believe so because there are always both good and bad moments; one cannot exist without the other. Thus, if you ever feel doubt in getting in a new relationship, remember all of the good times instead of the bad because it’s worth to feel that happiness again than shunning it.
Because it reinforces who you are
Relationships are hard because it can destroy the pillars of one’s self-esteem. Yet, it is important for everyone, including myself, to remember the fact that you are still very much your own person, no matter how much hurt the past gave you. Failures of past relationships are just reminders of who you are and who you will become in the future! We can never change the past but we can use it to our advantage to become our strongest self. Therefore, embrace more relationships even though it might fail again because it’s better to grow than never having grown at all.
Relationships aren’t black and white
Most people are scared to get in a relationship because they narrow-mindedly see it in black-and-white. It’s either going to be a happy fairytale ending like in the movies or it’s going to be one, big complete failure. These are unrealistic views, and they are far-reaching because they get you to think too far ahead. The beauty of relationships is its uncertainty, and that every relationship has its own nuances and differences. So, don’t be scared whether or not this relationship or that relationship is going to give you the results of what you want because it’s a learning process. Once you let go of the fear and put the actions in place, you will understand more about yourself and feel confident when it comes to relationships.
It’s always better try and fail than to never try at all
The way I see relationships is similar to the way I see life. Humans are nodes connected in a vast, complicated network, and we are meant to branch with other nodes regardless of failure or success. When we hold ourselves from getting in a relationship, it’s the same as holding back on pursuing what you believe you should be pursuing in life. If you’re always too scared of getting in a relationship, you will only lead your life to a path that will be filled with regret. Relationships, as in life, are supposed to be scary, but that’s the adventure of it. It’s always better to go for something than to have never gone for it.
Because it feels nice to love and be loved
Imagine living through life without ever knowing what it’s like to love someone and to be on the receiving end of love because you were afraid of getting in a relationship. Life would be terrible! If you keep closing yourself off, you won’t be doing yourself any favors because relationships are always part of living life, and to deny that only leads to depression, pain, and suffering. The truth is, as many people have reiterated to me, love is a positive emotion that makes you feel happier and full of energy, and it exists only in relationships.
The right person will accept your vulnerabilities
Sometimes, one of the fears we have when getting in a relationship stems from the fact that we are going to let ourselves be vulnerable, again. But, is this really a bad thing? When we show our vulnerability to another person, significant other or not, we’re allowing ourselves to show our life, our feelings, our thoughts, and our dreams. It may seem scary because we’re projecting the truth of who we are to the world and whether or not someone is going to accept you for being you. There will always be failures in relationships but I guarantee you that someone, somewhere, is going to accept you and love you for who you are.
There’s nothing to fear except fear itself
Life is never going to stop throwing curve balls at you, so there’s no point in anguishing over the fear of getting in and committing to a relationship. There always is a chance of risking failure, rejection, and getting hurt when we put ourselves out there. However, if you let that fear control you, all it does is paralyze you and keeps a hold on you from realizing and experiencing something that could have ended up as beautiful and romantic as those inspiring love stories we read or hear about. So, remember, remain hopeful instead of being scared and giving up because there’s nothing to fear except fear itself.