Are there really soulmates? Not that I am the definitive authority on the subject of love, but if I were tasked to give an answer to this question, it would be this: yes and no. I do believe you can find somebody that is perfect for you, and that you are perfect for them. Somebody that gets you, can finish your sentences, and knows what you want to eat for dinner before you know yourself. They love all your friends and they love them back. Your parents hug them every time they see them, and things are more perfect than you had ever hoped for. That person exists out there for you.
But that person isn’t the only one that can fill those shoes for you, though they may be the one you found. Here are some reasons why the idea of a soulmate is just a tad bit off.
Nine Billion People
There are just too many people. That’s a big one. Arithmetically, the concept just falls flat. Think of the complexity of one single individual. Times that by approximately 9,000,000,000. Is it really likely that there is one single person, and one alone, that can make you very happy? Unlikely.
Nobody Is Perfect
The idea of a soulmate implies that there is somebody out there that is going to fulfill you in every way, all the time, in all actives. But there is no human alive that is going to meet each and every single one of you dream qualifications. It is just not going to happen.
Let me direct you back to the nine billion people on this planet point. But this time, not to walk all over the idea that there is only one person out there to fill your “soulmate” shoes. This time I mention it to celebrate that fact! There are so many people out there, and chances are if you put the time in you could fall in love with a lot of them. In the city of New York you are probably passing a soul mate ten or so times a day. That’s because humans most often fall in love through circumstance and not essential qualities. Not to say we don’t stay together because of the qualities we love in a person and that they love in us. But there are tons of people that you can potentially love, not just one.
And If You Think About It…
If you think about it, the fact that there is way more than just one potential soulmate out there for you is a very good thing. Why in the world would you only want one soul mate? It is not nearly as romantic of a concept as you might imagine it to be. What if your soul mate, for instance, drowned in the ocean at age twelve? What does that mean for you? Now you have to be unhappy for the rest of your life?
Sets You Up For Disaster
If you think of people in terms of potential soulmates you are setting yourself up for a major crash. It is a lot of pressure to put on one person, and you will inevitably judge them based on a set of standards that nobody can live up to. You will go from person to person, thinking way too highly of them and then judging them way too harshly. The idea of a soulmate encourages that kind of thinking, and it is a toxic mentality.
Neurology Begs To Differ
Science says that love is just neuronal firing in your brain, so the idea that only one person can make neurons fire is simply inaccurate. Sorry if that sounds unromantic, but it is scientifically proven that love is jus chemical reaction occurring in your brain not in your heart.
We Aren’t Photographs
That is to say, no human being remains the same. The idea that there is a perfect being out there for you implies that this you will always be this you. In reality, the person you fall in love with changes, and grows with you. The person you are at fifty is not the same person you are at twenty. And the same is true for the person you will grow old with. Perhaps this sounds like a semantical argument, but the argument made for soul mates ignores the fact that human personality is plastic.
I Should Add…
Humans don’t have souls either. We just don’t. So, ipso facto, there cannot be soulmates. Now heart-mates. They are out there. That’s possible. But there isn’t only one of those either. There are a ton of heart-mates out there for you to fall in love with. And that should make you very very happy, not sad.