Is your man giving you mixed signals? Is he not answering your calls, or blowing you off more and more? Then there’s a decent chance you’re dating a jerk, but there’s an even better chance that you already know that, but just don’t want to admit it.
Guys don’t come with a handbook, and neither do women, obviously, but for the most part they’re a relatively basic species. They’ll keep you on a pedestal if they think you’re worth it, or expend as little energy on you as possible if they don’t really think about you at all.
And that’s the long and short of it – if he’s treating you poorly, then he’s not really trying all that hard, and that means either you’ve been thinking about shopping around, or he has. So watch out for these signs of neglect, because no matter the relationship, you at least deserve better.
He’s just not that into your interests
If you like a lot of regular guy crap, then obviously you’ll have a statistically easier time of finding someone who you can be buddies, as well as lovers, with. You guys can watch the same sports and complain about the same video games together. However, if you’re a regular person with your own interests, then you need someone who’s willing to at least try them with you.
And if a guy who cares about you knows that you really like something, he’d give your interests a shot. If he’s not willing at all, then his inner voice has already convinced him that you’re just not that important – either right now, or in general.
He’s just not that into your friends
Here’s some full disclosure – most of everyone you’ve ever dated didn’t like anyone of your friends (he may have found them attractive, but that’s a completely different type of vice).
But if he thinks about you as a long-term commitment, even on a subconscious level, then he knows that he has to get along with them eventually. This is one of those cases where Canada’s jewel, Justin Bieber, was right all along.
♩ ♪ ♫ But when you told me that you hated my friends
The only problem was with you and not them♬ ♭ ♮ ♯
He’s just not that into anything
If he’s not trying at all, you can always tell. There’s a huge difference between someone who’s clinically depressed and doesn’t have the energy to function, and someone who just doesn’t want to spend his time doing what you want to do. That doesn’t mean everything, of course, because if you’re getting fed up with him wanting to do his own thing some (or half) of the time, then:
♩ ♪ ♫ The only problem was with you and not them♬ ♭ ♮ ♯
Don’t confuse someone being a bad boyfriend with the two of you just not being compatible. Both liking Game of Thrones isn’t a sign of compatibility, but if one of you hates it while the other one loves it, then you may just not be compatible. However, if one of you loves it, and the other one refuses to try it even though it would make you happy, then that person just really doesn’t want to try.
He’s just not all that
Any guy can put on their big boy pants and man up to the situation, the job, the big game, or relationship. It takes effort, and a strong level of commitment however, and if that requires a lot of forced behavior, then maybe he’s just not really ready for those big britches.
We’ve all heard the oft-told argument that every woman likes a fixer-upper, and that’s exactly what you have on your hands. He’s not trying to be childish, or a brat, or lazy, or a bad boyfriend. He actually is all those things, and your only in-relationshop option is to wait for his order of pantalones to finally show up in the mail.
He’s just not that into hygeine
If he’s not showering as much as he used to, or brushing, or flossing, or combing his hair (at least with his fingers), then he’s really comfortable around you. And that’s great, because you can be the exact same way in whichever grossly romantic pigsty the two of you live in. But if you’re not there in the relationship, then he’s already used to you being there, and his mind has started taking your relationship for granted.
So either tack on to the giant pile of laundry in the corner with your own underwear or think about how much happier you’d be with someone who smells like lavender at least once a day.
He’s just not that romantic
Some guys are more romantically inclined than others, and that’s more dependent on how they were brought up and the kinds of relationships they grew up in. However, if he thinks all of it is stupid, then he’s either a jaded hippie who’s against mass produced cupid arrows, or he’s trying to do as little as possible to test how long you’ll stay around.
The two of you agreeing to not celebrate holidays is different than him deciding on his own, and that’s a pretty big sign that he’s planning for an argument on purpose.
He’s just really into himself
Not being there for someone can cause huge problems, and those need to be worked out through countless hours of arguments, make-up sex, and then more arguments. But if the one constant in all of your arguments is that he doesn’t get to talk about himself more, or what he wants, than perhaps he’s being a jerk because you want to feel involved as well. So try to pay more attention as to why you two aren’t seeing through rose-colored glasses anymore, because this will be a much larger problem down the line.
He’s just a plain ol’ jerkface
There’s always the possibility that he’s just kind of a jerk to begin with. Not every girl likes an arsehole, but everyone can at least agree that they’re pretty entertaining when you’re watching (and judging) from a safe distance. However, if you’re in a real relationship, with all the calling, texting, and time commitments, then he should have outgrown that phase into being a real person.
And if that real person is a real jerk, then you might have an hopeless case on your hands.