We all have to pick our battles. Thus, it becomes paramount to be in the know about which battles one should pick and which ones we should let go. Not only can you not win some fights, but fighting with people expends your valuable energy. That’s a resource which is not in unlimited supply even for the most impressive of us. In many instances it is better to simply give no fucks. However, here are a few situations in which you should let them have it, and let them have it good.
They Don’t Know Anything
If a friend, or a family member or somebody firmly embedded within a conversation or event or issue says something, then you should hear them out. After all, it directly involves them as they are a part of your life (at least in some way). However, if somebody not only starts spouting off at the mouth and saying stupid, incorrect or offensive things, it better not simply be because they crave drama. If you have a run-in with someone that clearly has no part in your business, you should definitely let them have it. Maybe you can teach them a lesson in being intrusive.
Blatant Disrespect of Family
Most things can and should be tolerated by you. Not because people DESERVE to be tolerated. You do it for you not for them. Even when people start talking about your family, if they do it respectfully, they should be listened to with like respect. However, as soon as the person starts being blatantly disrespectful about family you should have no reservations about taking off the gloves.
They Lied to You
Life is largely about forming valued and intimate relationships with others. Humans are social beasts. As such, when we decide to spend our valuable time with others we should expect a few things as unconditional (if we respect ourselves). We should expect respect, trust, and honesty to name a few. If somebody lied to you who you don’t know or have little relationship with you should just say “fuck it, I’m above this”. But if somebody lied to you who you trust, you sort of owe it to yourself to tell them all about how pissed off you are about that.
They Tried to Do You Harm
Whether physical, emotional, or in your career, if somebody intentionally tried to undermine you then they deserve not only to be told off but to be undermined themselves. You have to be your number one ally and advocate, and that includes sticking up for yourself against people who not only are indifferent towards you, but who are actively malicious.
It Isn’t the First Time
If somebody has repeatedly done something offensive or wronged you in any way, you may have zipped your lip a few times. But the thing is you can only be “the bigger person” so many times before it turns into you being a pushover. You owe yourself better.
They Owe You Money
Even if you are the nicest person in the world, and are more terrified of contention than you are of being hit by a bus, you still need to be fiscally responsible. If not, you won’t survive. That includes shopping intelligently, not going out every single night, and not letting people steal from you. Because friends, family, or anybody who borrows money and says they will pay you back, but then doesn’t, is acting extremely disrespectfully. In fact, it is little better than stealing. At least when somebody robs you you don’t usually know the person and thus don’t have to feel slighted about it. This is arguably worse.
Don’t be fooled into thinking NOT telling off somebody who you care about is ALWAYS the right move or kind move. After all, if the issue at hand is important enough (or even just important enough to you which is usually the same thing) then you actually owe it to them to tell them off. Because if you don’t then it will only turn into bile and resentment. That will slowly poison the relationship in the end. That’s a lose-lose.
Romantic Infidelity is #1
This should go without saying. It hurts enough to be lied to. But to be lied to by your significant other is the worst. If I believed in sins I would call it a sin. That’s how bad it is. I do not only mean sexual infidelity like cheating on somebody either. Any kind of cheating or deviousness should be properly brought to your significant other’s attention as offensive and inexcusable.