Look, I love my mom. She’s my best friend, my confidant, she’s the woman who always has my back no matter what; I would do anything for her, except for turn into her. She’s the quentissential Jewish mother: she likes to remind me of the same things 50 times, she calls me a minimum of 10 times a day (not including texts), she’s an neurotic and extra sensitive as they come, and she basically guilts you into doing anything and everything.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s the best mom; rather have one who hovers than one who’s not around at all. But I don’t really want to turn into her. My entire life, my mom has been the head bitch in charge of everything. She runs shit (especially the lives of my father and I). Recently, my boyfriend, who is also very close to my family, has told me that I’m turning into my mother.
I looked at him with a death glare I now realize my mother always gives me, and told him he’s a fucking moron. However, I thought back, back to time when I was younger (not subtly approaching my thirties) and realized that holy fuck, I have become more like her.
IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE.
For those of you who are under the impression that you’re somehow not turning into your mother, here are some uncomfortable signs that you in fact are:
You find yourself starting to worry about everyone more
You worry about if your loves ones have eaten, you worry about whether or not they dressed appropriately for the weather. I find myself picking out outfits for my boyfriend to make sure he looks presentable. You make sure that there’s always food in the fridge, the apartment is always clean, etc. You are literally worry about everyone, all the time, it’s exhausting, but it’s happening.
You also hear yourself saying shit your mom says
Oh, this is the worst. You know when your mom said shit like “don’t worry, I’ll do everything myself, it’s not like anyone helps me anyway.” Yeah, well, you started saying too, didn’t you. Ugh.
People tell you “you’re starting to look like your mother”
Maybe you resembled her before. However, now people are legit saying that you look like your mom and you’re starting to notice it. You’re developing the exact same features she had when she was your age. I mean, hey, hopefully your mom is hot like mine. But even if she is, it’s still unsettling that you’re turning into her.
You start to borrow things from her closet
Remember the time where you would never imagine borrowing something from your mom’s closet because it “wasn’t cool.” Well, it’s cool now and you do it all the time. You have zero issues taking things from her closet because you’ve actually started liking some of her stuff. In other words, you’re getting older and turning into her.
You repeat the obvious all the time
Remind someone of the same thing over and over again? Yup, that’s what your mom did and now you’re doing it to. In all fairness, as an adult, I understand why she did it: because nobody ever fucking does anything.
You’re using her one-liners
“I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so” … and other famous mom one-liners. Yeah, you say them all the time.
You agree with her all the time
There used to be a time that you fight to the death to prove a point to your mom. However, over the years, you’ve realized that she’s right about everything. So now, you find yourself agreeing with her on almost everything. It’s bad. But hey, turns out she really was right everything.
You just feel yourself morphing into her
It’s okay though, I love you mom!