After a break up, you might give yourself some time “me” time, or even start dating again. But there comes a moment when you might be tempted to contact your ex. Maybe you might want to get back together, you need closure, or you just want to hear their voice. But you two talking together has to be agreed on both sides if a conversation is to take place. You have to be considerate of their feelings, their relationship status, and how comfortable they feel talking with you First you need to initiate contact with them to see if a conversation between you two is even possible.
Share something with them that you know they are interested in
Send them meme that you think they would find funny, or a link to a website or article about a topic they’re interested in. You can write something along with it like “thought you would enjoy this, ” and leave it at that. Sending them something they like can garner their interest and they might reply and a conversation could be sparked.
Sound distant, and cool when you contact them
You don’t want to sound or look desperate, so play it cool and keep it somewhat formal. Whatever you have to say to them keep it short and to the point without any added emotions.
Send a text, something simple
Try sending them a text, but make sure its simple and short. And when you send them a text don’t make it about the past relationship, or go to deep into their personal lives. Maybe send them a text to remind them that the new season of their favorite show is premiering soon.
Don’t start pouring your feelings
Don’t contact them just to pour out your feelings, they will get overwhelmed and won’t respond and might even block you. You want to establish some contact with them first because if not you’re going to scare them away … again.
Don’t put on romantic airs
Don’t talk to them as if everything is fine between you two, as if you two aren’t separated right now. Calling them “bae,” or acting really friendly with them can make them feel uncomfortable. You acting lovey dove will make you seem delusional because you two aren’t together anymore. So keep it cool and don’t freak them out.
Use your mutual friends, and social media to remind them that your alive
Sometimes you have to remind them about you in order to open the doorway to communication. Use your mutual friends. When they see your ex they might mention to them that they saw you and that can get your ex curious as to what you have been up to. Sometimes social media can be your best weapon, post a nice picture so that they’ll be reminded of you and they might be less hostile when you contact them later on.
Send a letter
Nobody really does this anymore, so maybe you should try doing something different. With a text message they could just see your name on the screen and ignore it. But with a letter they’ll be intrigued to see what’s inside and will have to sit down and read it. Having your feelings and thoughts made tangible can have more weight than electronic messages.
Establish in the beginning that you just want to talk and nothing more
When you first contact them get rid of any assumptions that they might have and let them know you just want to talk, and not about the past. During the first conversation you should talk about something else, maybe just small talk so they can feel comfortable and feel as if there’s no pressure.