When you’re in a relationship, sometimes it’s the only thing that matters. Some people have trouble focusing on anything but their S.O. which is harmful to them and also other relationships. Giving attention to your S.O. is not a bad thing, but you have to remember that there are other things, and other people, that might need your attention as well.
I have had friendship groups break apart because one of the girls was too infatuated with her boyfriend. Another friend of mine practically lost her job because she always called out to spend time with her boyfriend.
When the honeymoon phase is long over and the relationship gets rocky, the break-up is usually inevitable. Afterwards, it can be hard to get back on track and remember who you were before the relationship. But look around you and you’ll find that you’re not alone. Here are some ways to focus on what truly matters post-breakup.
Spend Time with Family
You may have been ignoring your parents for some time. It’s not usually intentional, but getting so wrapped up in the relationship will cause your judgement to blur. Especially if your parents are not in favor of the relationship. Then anything they tell you might seem wrong and harmful. Your S.O. will definitely urge negative thinking for the sake of the relationship. But boyfriends will come and go, your parents and family will always be there.
Spend Time with Friends
There is nothing sadder than losing good friends because you’re in a relationship. When a friendship is solid for many years and you can rely on them, it could all change when a boyfriend gets involved. Instead of going to them when you’re in trouble, you go to your S.O. The friendship is strained when a new best friend gets involved. Or you may have spent less time with them while you were in a relationship. Reconnect with old friends. You’ll all be happy you did.
Spent Time with your Dog
Whether your dog has been there since the beginning, or just recently, your dog will always need you. If you’re infatuated with a relationship, ignoring a pet could be easier than ignoring friends and family. You are the entire world to your dog and they place full dependance and reliability upon you. Don’t ignore them. Spread the love and care for them like they deserve to be.
Read, Read, Read
Reading is a distraction because it allows you to escape. When you pick up a book, you enter a different realm, where the characters seem real and the setting feels like home. When you’re lonely post-breakup, read a good book. Often times, poetry is the best because it’s short, but usually honest and emotional. It might be just the thing you need to remember that there will always be a learning experience.
Look at the Stars
It may be hard to look at stars in the city, but even if you look at the moon, it works just the same. If you’re lucky enough to travel out of the city for some time, take the opportunity. Lay on the ground or sit back and just take it all in. Looking at the vast expanse of dark sky speckled with shining, bright stars, is existentialist AF. But it will totally put you in your place and help you focus on the real world.
Pick up a New Hobby
Especially if you start doing something your S.O. wasn’t encouraging about. If they thought the clarinet was too squeaky, learn how to play it and play it well. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. And you’ll feel so badass and strong by doing something they were never fond of you doing. Make yourself happy.
Write in a Journal
Now hear me out. Each night before you sleep, jot down a few things about the day. It’ll get easier to write as you go along, and after a week you’ll be writing pages. By writing down whatever comes to mind about the day, you’ll find yourself writing down your feelings. Write about the relationship, but write about yourself. YOU are what matters most.
Get Some Spa Treatment
Head to the salon and get a makeover. Start fresh. Getting a haircut will make you feel like a new person and it’ll be riveting. Get a mani/pedi, get a massage. Do things that make you feel amazing. Be the best you that you can possibly be.