8 Ways to Prepare Your Partner For Spending The Holidays With Your Family
Let us say a prayer.
Spending the holidays with a group of strangers can be terrifying as hell and even worse is bringing your partner home for the holidays. Yikes. It can be really nerve wrecking for you to share your partner with your family because you don’t know how the evening will go and if your partner will fit within your familiar ties. Although it’s easy for us to get so wrapped up in our own fears, we have to remember a very important thing: this whole situation is a frightening experience for your partner. Don’t you feel like a selfish bitch all of the sudden?
Meeting strangers and having to spend hours on hours with them can make you go a little crazy. How can you possibly fill the time with good conversation that also shows you have a sense of humor and intellect with a dash of charm? It’s scary! So, as their partner, it’s your job to ease them into the festivities.
Full family info session
Before the holidays, fill your partner in on everything about your family. Through the relationship, I’m sure you’ve discussed a lot about your family, but this is the time to talk about it all. Your uncle Jim is a crazy Trump supporter? Make sure your partner doesn’t touch on politics. Just give your partner the gossip on all things your family.
Plan like a motherfucker
The holidays are about being with family and your partner will have plenty of time with them. More importantly, you need to make sure you plan activities and moments that have nothing to do with your family. Your partner needs a breather sometimes and being at your parent’s house all day is overwhelming.
Bang before leaving
Make sure you have sex a disgusting amount of times before leaving. Your partner will not be getting off in your childhood bedroom. Just bang incessantly at home, save the sexy time for New Year’s.
Fill them in on the family traditions
If your family sings Christmas carols by the piano, make sure your Jewish lover is prepared for some of those dumbass songs. If your family enjoys making hunting, make sure your vegan boyfriend has another outing prepped for that time. You know the traditions in your family; make sure your partner is in on the joke.
Forewarn them on basically everything
My grandmother was infamous for telling people that they looked fat during the holidays. Prepare your partner for moments like that. Your family is going to embarrass the hell out of you and make inappropriate jokes. If you still want to have a partner after the holidays, forewarn your partner beforehand.
Have treats on deck
Don’t force your partner to only eat the things your family offers. Of course, they have to eat everything offered but when it’s time for bed, your partner deserves to eat the “special brownies” you bought before the trip. Have their favorite treats nearby so they feel more at home.
Take them to the bank
My family always talks shit about my sister’s ex boyfriend who never offered to pay for anything during a getaway. Most of the time, families just want your partner to offer and that’s all it takes. They won’t accept the offer but at least make sure your family knows your partner is ready to pay if you let them.
Hold their hand
Hold their hand through the holiday and just tell them to relax. Your partner doesn’t have to feel pressure to impress because they’re perfect.