Are you feeling a little lost in your relationship, but feel that the cause is not a lack of mutual feeling toward, and affection for, one another? Does it feel like you just have a sort of block that you can’t explain. It is not unusual for long term relationships, but there is no reason to despair over the situation. In fact, many relationships need a punch-up every now and then for the purpose of reigniting the spark that, while still there, is dormant and frankly bored. Here are a few ways that you might go about reigniting a romantic spark in your relationship.
When I say be honest, it is actually a twofold point. Do not only be honest with your partner, although that is paramount and indispensable to a health relationship not only a romantic one. You should also be sure to be honest with yourself. Far from hippy mystic mumbo jumbo, being honest with yourself is important because if you are not honest with yourself first of all, how could you possibly be honest with your partner. And honest, like oysters, is an aphrodisiac. You might not be running to the bed. It might be more subtle than that. But open, honest, and transparent communication is a turn-on, and it is a way of showing the special bond you two have with each other.
Date nights can be really helpful. And the reasoning for this can be found in the same vein as the reason for being honest. Specifically, it can reaffirm the special bond that you two share, and shows each other that your relationship stands apart from other relationships. Making time, putting in effort, and getting creative for a weekly date night can reignite the spark for sure. Attention paid is always a turn-on after all. At least when the one being attentive is your significant other (and not, say, a creepy stalker).
In general, once you start exercising your grateful muscle you’ll find that you see things in an entirely different light. With that in mind, there are probably a whole lot of things that you didn’t even consider to be grateful for that your significant other does. They don’t have to be major things. And that’s why you probably didn’t notice them. But If you start actively looking for things to be grateful for, that exercise will be like opening a window and sticking your head out to breathe in some very fresh air after being cooped up inside all day. Trust me, it can be plenty exhilarating that you way more lucky than you even knew.
Remind your partner all the time how much you mean to them. Tell them you appreciate this, like the way that look on them. Thank them for breakfast, and compliment on their competency at their job or just at that last Scrabble word. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, just these simple compliments will remind your significant other of your unique bond, and it will remind yourself as well.
Nobody is saying that you have to be in the shape, and have the fashion acumen of a David Beckham. However a – not entirely easy – way to show affection and get back that romantic spark is by doing a medley of activities that include getting in shape, dressing more nicely, being tidy, and eating healthier. The reason I say “not entirely easy” is because we should call a spade a spade. I think we have all let ourselves go in a relationship at one time or another, to varying degrees. But it can actually be a turnoff. It can make the point that we don’t care to impress our significant other anymore. While on some level that is okay, and maybe even nice. At times it can be a bit depressing to look at us in our sweatpants for a week straight.
Believe it or not, you should not be with your significant other every day and all day. Despite what you might believe, this is only going to make things worse. Ever hear the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt”? While this may be an exaggeration for most relationships, and I don’t suggest getting paranoid that your significant other hates you, it is important to have separate social lives from one another. This gives each other room to breathe. And counterintuitive as it might seem, affection usually grows with distance, provided that you return to each other at the end of the day.
Every now and then it is a good idea to give your significant other a good ol’ shock. And no, by this I do not mean hiding in the closet for your wife to arrive home from work and then trying to give her a heart attack. But maybe ordering roses to her office, or throwing her a surprise birthday party can be fun. It’ll make them feel like they are still learning new sides of you even this long into your relationship, and that is always a pleasure… as long as the side they discover isn’t axe-murder-y…
It is also possible that just what both of you need is also so simple that you have long scoffed at the idea as too easy to be truly helpful But it might be just the thing to jumpstart the relationship. A vacation, even for just a weekend, can help the two of you de-stress. And it is well known that people enjoy each other far more when they are more at ease. This vacation operates just like a detox, where your body gets a complete cleaning. Although instead of your body, the thing detoxifying your relationship with your significant other.