With all the controversy around film producer Harvey Weinstein raping and sexually assaulting several women, people are finally realizing that rape culture has somehow become apart of our culture. We not only see allegations of sexual assault, and rape happening in Hollywood, but also in schools, sports, politics, religion, and in family settings.
To make matters worse, many of the perpetrators are able to get away with their crimes, either due to their social standings, their reputation, or society’s bad habit of somehow blaming the victim.
So why are so many people enduring Sexual assault and sexual harassment these days? And why are so many people committing it? Are people struggling with how to determine whether or not the other person is consenting to sex? Well if you feel as if you’re struggling with determining whether or not the other person is consenting to sex, here’s some advice to keep you from becoming another Weinstein.
Forcing yourself on someone who is saying no
When someone says “no,” they mean no. And if they feel forced to say it several times, and with a stern and panicked voice than that is without a doubt a ‘No” which you are meant to head. If you force yourself on someone who is saying “no”, then that is rape. Their “no” is not an invitation to continue, or try to convince them.
Forcing yourself on someone who is resisting
If someone is resisting your advances, it does not mean you continue trying to have sex with them. Their resistance is a form of them rejecting you and the idea of having sex with you. This is not someone “playing hard to get,” they are trying to defend themselves.
Having sex with someone who is intoxicated
If the person is intoxicated due to alcohol, or other substances then they are not in the right mind. Whether they say yes or no, you should not engage in any sexual acts with them, because they may not be aware of what is going on, and you are taking advantage of them while they are in a vulnerable state.
Drugging someone, so they aren’t conscious of what is happening
Drugging someone so that they have no say in the matter, is not consensual sex. You are taking away their ability to say no, and resist. You are taking away their choice.
Taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable and unable to defend themselves
If you take advantage of someone who is not familiar with the concept of sex, and force them to engage in the act then that is rape. Wether it’s a child or someone who is mentally handicapped, you are using their lack of experience and knowledge for your own sick gain.
Using your authority in a way to coerce individual into having sex with you, does not mean the sex is consensual. It means that they felt backed into a corner, because of whatever authority you hold, and felt as if they had to have sex with you. It does not mean they did I willingly.
“Women like it when your rough”
Do not use the stereotypical male chauvinist phrases to justify your actions. Some women may like it rough during sex, but at their request. That does not mean you have the right to force ourself onto every person just because you assume that they’re just playing around, and they actually enjoy you forcing yourself onto them . That is not consensual sex.
They acted like “They wanted you”
Just because they showed some interest in you early on doesn’t mean they want to have sex with you. You using their previous actions or comments to justify your actions does not make the sex consensual. They have the basic right to decide wether or not they want to have sex with you, without you making that decision for them.
Your sex is not something ” so amazing” that it needs to be forced onto others
Don’t hype yourself up on your sex game to the point that you think anyone who lays with you should feel honored. No matter how good you thin you are, and how much you try to convince the other person how good you are, they still have not given their consent. So keep whatever magical genitals you have in your pants, until someone says yes to having what is most likely mediocre sex with you.