It took me a while to realize it, but fights need to happen in a relationship. It’s all a part of learning as a couple what does and doesn’t work for your relationship, and it can be unhealthy to keep your grievances bottled up. And fights can come in many different shapes and forms. Sometimes they’re big, and sometimes they’re small. They’re inevitable, and when they happen, just know that they happen to every other couple as well. Here’s a few of the petty fews that I’ve been in with a partner, and I guarantee that you’ve been in some of them as well.
Liking other people’s stuff on social media
Don’t lie. Whenever you’re in a relationship, you’re always checking your boo’s social media accounts. How many likes they’re getting on Instagram, and who specifically is liking their pictures. Also what they’ve been liking on Twitter and Instagram. Perhaps one day you’ll like someone’s tweet or photo that your partner doesn’t approve of, and you’ll hear it from them. Try not to do or say anything on social media that could be questionably interpreted by your partner.
Not hooking up in awhile
“It’s been awhile sinceeeee,” is the go-to line for “I’m horny and we haven’t fucked in forever,” to put it bluntly. And if you pull this on a girl, she’ll shoot you down in a heartbeat for phrasing it like that. Guys will be more than at the chance, and will instantly forget everything. But regardless, if you find yourself in the situation where it’s been awhile, don’t be awkward and bring it up like I once did. I slept alone that night.
How much effort one of you is putting in
I’d like to think that everyone gives 100% effort in all of their relationships, but this sadly isn’t the case. There are times where one partners does a hell of a lot more in a relationship than the other partner. And it’s probably the only time on this list where I actually condone the fight, rather than try to deflect it. It may seem like a small issue at first glance, but unreciprocated effort could lead to something more, and it’s something that you definitely need to talk about with your partner.
Whether or not you actually went to sleep
I guarantee you that you’ve done this before. I’d say that guys are more guilty of it, but girls can do it too. So, you want to just hang and chill out for the night, with whatever you’re doing, so you tell your partner that you’re going to bed. But nah, you’re wide awake. You have to go dark on social media, so it gives the appearance that you’re sleeping. But an hour or so passes, and you go on Instagram. You like a picture, and you think nothing of it. Then, you go to sleep, and wake up with angry texts from your partner calling you out for your bastardly lie. Start prepping your apology buddy, it better be a good one.
Hanging out with your friends over your partner
Some partners don’t worry too much about this, but it’ll probably happen at some point. You’ve made plans with your friends, and then your partner chimes in, asking about plans with them for the same time. If your partner is cool, they won’t mind you going out with your friends. But sometimes, your partner will hit you with the “Go out and have fun, I don’t care.” Personally, I think this is dumb, and unless you break some sort of promise or screw your partner over in some way, they shouldn’t care. But not everyone feels that way, and they may start a fight with you over it, thinking that you prefer hanging out with your friends rather than them.
Whether or not you still have feelings for an ex
Risky territory. The topic of an ex will always come up at some point in the relationship. For example, I’m still friends with one of my old ex’s. And at the time, my then-girlfriend noticed that I had been texting her earlier. So what did the then-girlfriend do? She got up and just left my apartment. No fucks given, got up, and left. I told her constantly that I didn’t have any feelings for the ex, and she didn’t buy it. It took her a weekend to finally calm down about it, but for those few days, she was untouchable with anger.
Your feelings toward each other
This will probably happen early in the relationship. After some time together, you’ll start to get to the “I love you” phase, which could go either great, or poorly. In the worst case scenario, it could be that the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Or, it could be that your partner is worried that things may be moving too fast. Only try to get to this stage when you’re confident that the two of you know whether or not the relationship will last.
How fast you text back
Every girl in the world expects a text back from their mans in under 3o seconds. I like to think that I’m a pretty quick texter, but I’m not gonna sit there with my phone unlocked and constantly hit you back up. Give me a few minutes please. But if someone awhile to respond to you, don’t assume the worst. People have lives you know, and sometimes you can’t check your phone constantly. Try not to get angry over slow response times, there may be a reason for it.
How you text in general
Girls will notice the slightest change in tone when texting a guy. Whether it’s a thing they say, or an emoji they always use, they notice differences. And to be fair, these kind of things are noticeable. But just because someone is acting differently doesn’t mean that they’re angry at you. They could just be having a bad day for all you know, and their mood could be impacted as a result. If you notice a change in your partner’s attitude, ask them what’s wrong, rather than accusing them of something.