Sex is an intimate act, and the closest you can ever be with another human being. It is a crucial aspect of every relationship, as it reflects how comfortable both partners are with one another. And it also shows how much they know about one another, and is one way for a couple to express their love.
But is sex between exes the same? And is it a good idea to have sex with your ex?
Some might say ‘sex is sex’, but sex and who you have it with, can affect you in many ways. Having sex with an ex can have some vey negative affects on you, and your ex. Here are 9 reasons why having sex with your ex is not a good idea.
The sex might bring up old feelings that you thought you already stomped out and burned
Remember all those days where you cried, binge watched dramas, and spent nights out with friends in order to forget them and kill off any feelings you had for them. Well now you’re going to just let them in again? Having sex with an ex, risks old feelings resurfacing causing you to remember the pain, that you worked so hard to forget, and the love for them which you no longer want to burden you.
They might see you as a convenient hookup
For your ex, you are someone who they know well and are comfortable with in bed. Having sex with you means bypassing all the awkwardness that comes with hooking up with someone new. They know what you like, and you know what they like which means you two can enjoy yourselves without feeling nervous or insecure. But they might take advantage of this feeling of comfort they have with you, and the fact that you might still have feelings for them. Having sex with your ex can lead to them taking advantage of you for their own pleasure and convenience.
One of you might start wanting more, when the other doesn’t
There’s a chance that the sex might trigger some strong emotions in one of you, that may not be reciprocated by the other person. This could lead to miscommunication, and one of you getting hurt ( maybe for a second time).
You shouldn’t have sex with them if there was never any closure
If the relationship ended with you or them not having any real closure over the matter, than that can lead to certain feelings bubbling up. Having sex with someone who has caused you pain, or whom you’ve caused pain to can lead to confusion and stress which neither of you deserve.
You need to move on
You need to move on. Some relationships can’t be salvaged, but life goes on, and you need to start moving forward. Having sex with your ex can lead you to becoming stagnate, unable to progress in life, and preventing you from meeting someone new.
They might be using sex to keep you on a leash
They might want to have sex with you, but it doesn’t mean that they want to be with you. Having sex with you might be the closest you’ll ever get to them, and that might be enough for them but not for you. Don’t get trapped in to a situation where everything is on their terms, don’t let them use something as intimate as sex as a way to control you.
It can hinder your personal development
After you break up with someone you should use the time you have being single, to get to know yourself once again as your own person. This is a time of self growth where you can reflect and learn from your experiences. Having sex with your ex can hinder that self growth, for you two are no longer a unit. You need to learn how to no longer be with them, and be content with yourself.
It can create a false sense of hope
Having sex may lead to one of you hoping that maybe you will start going out with each other again. But it will hurt a lot if the other person doesn’t feel the same.
Can lead to regret
You might regret the sex you have with your ex, when you realize that they haven’t changed, and the dynamic between you two still has not improved. This regret is caused by your expectations not being met, which can lead you to beat yourself up about having sex with them once again.