We all hate being lied to. It is probably one of the more shitty feelings in the world. If you confide in somebody, and they break that trust, then they don’t deserve to be in your life. Unless they make it up to you in some major way, they should be getting the boot out the door. And that goes double for people you are in a romantic relationship with. So, what’s worse than being lied to? Being lied to and not even knowing it is happening. Here are some ways that you can figure out whether your significant other lies straight to your face.
Sketchy About Their Phone
If your significant other is sneaking away often – like they say they have to go to the bathroom – but then come back because they forgot their phone, that is a little sketchy. For one, do they not trust you alone with their phone? And two, are they secretly texting someone in there that they don’t want you to know about? Don’t get paranoid. Don’t be overly anxious about these things. However, if it happens often… some shit might be going on that they’re keeping from you.
Subtle Variations on Stories
It is hard to keep track of lies. And unless they are sociopaths, liars tend to screw up here and there. That’s because it didn’t really happen, so they have to figure out the math fresh each time they feed you the croc of shit. Be wary of changes in stories.
Refusal to Get Personal
Not always a sign. People have walls up. Sometimes they have been hurt. Traumatized. Scarred. But usually you can tell if that is the kind of person you are dealing with, at least in some way. If your significant other seems perfectly well adjusted, and yet still is not forthcoming with anything personal about them – they are hiding something. Lying by omission is still lying.
Deletes Browser History
It could just be that they’re watching porn. Or they could be cheating on you. Either way they don’t want you to see something. If it is porn, you should still be talking about it. They shouldn’t be hiding it from you. After talking, you go from there. But, whatever it is, they don’t want you to know about it. That should be an issue for you.
They Have Their Excuse on Lock
“It’s quiet — too quiet.” They say that in the movies because a little quiet means nothing is wrong, whereas absolute silence means someone is trying to create an artificial feeling of nothing-is-wrong-ness. So, longwinded analogy aside, if they have explanations that seem like they’ve been rehearsed in front of the mirror – they’re too perfect – then they are probably lying.
Changes in Tone of Voice or fidgeting
Does your significant other tend to get really quiet, really high-pitched, or any other type of change that is a deviation from their normal speech pattern? Or do they avoid eye contact or obscure their faces (those are called negation cues)? Do they turn their head or body away (aversion cues)? You can’t expect to be Sherlock Holmes, and people can exhibit these tendencies without being liars. I’m just saying: these are well-tested signs of liars.
Changes the Subject
Are there certain subjects that, when they come up, your significant other is quick to change the subject to something else? Although he may not be lying, you might want to ask yourself why that topic in particular seems off limits. Police cordon off areas because there are things that they want to keep secret, from the media for instance. Maybe this isn’t too different. Something to look into.
Denial phrases repeated over and over are typical clues to lying. It is all about trying to change your perception. I swear on my mother’s grave. It’s little more than misdirection. It is about trying to manipulate you by pulling at your heart strings. Or through shock value. “Oh my, he’s swearing to GOD, it must be true!” Again, not always… but often a sign of a lie.
Your Gut Just Tells You
And last but not least… Sometimes you just f’ing know it. Don’t always trust your gut. But I would trust it as far as bringing up a conversation with them, even if you have no real “proof”. If you think something is up, something is probably up. The details are unknown, but the usually gut is quite wise.