There’s nothing worse than having to fight for a relationship that you know might be ending. You just feel it in your bones: the end is near. If you’re in the position of trying to figure out whether or not you want to stay in your relationship, I feel for you, I know your mind is racing and you’re just trying to figure your life out.
You’re going to ask yourself a million questions and figure out whether or not you’re actually making the right decision. Unfortunately, I can’t help you figure that out, but I can try to help you navigate through this hot mess life has served up.
Will you find someone else?
One of the biggest fears someone who’s on the verge of ending their relationship feels is whether or not they’ll actually find someone else to be with. Someone who they really love. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s tough out there, but is being in a miserable relationship better than seeing what else is out there? Personally, I’d take the risk.
What if you’re making a mistake?
Here’s the deal: if you feel like you want to leave your relationship, than you probably should otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking it. Everyone is scared of making a mistake, but if you’re unhappy, perhaps making a mistake isn’t the worst thing you could do. You have to be able to take the plunge and figure out if leaving is worse than staying.
Are you really not able to forgive?
If you’re looking to end your relationship over a fight, think about whether or not you can actually forgive this person. If they cheated on you or lied (very badly) to you, I don’t suggest forgiveness, but hey, who am I to judge? Just consider the possibility of working through your difference if there’s a chance at mending your relationship.
Are you staying just for convenience or comfort?
One of the worst things I see people do (and that I’ve done) is stay with someone strictly because it’s convenient and you’re used to it. No, that never works. You need to be with someone who makes you happy and who you actually want to be with, not someone who you’re comfortable with “so whatever.”
Will this come back to bite you in the ass?
Are you going to regret leaving? Now, nobody has a crystal ball, but if you really think about it I’m sure you’ll know the answer. If you leaning towards the fact that you’ll likely regret, again, maybe try to work through your issues.
Despite everything, are you actually happy?
From time to time, everyone can piss you off, I’ve learned there’s a fine line between love and hate. But sit and think about whether or not you’re actually happy? If the person you’re with brightens your day, calms you down, makes you smile, etc. If that is the case, than maybe you shouldn’t jump the gun and end things.
Is this person willing to change for you?
I know, I know, people don’t change. But is the person you’re with willing to try and work on the things that bother you in order to move forward in your relationship? If so, that’s a good sign but it’s also a risk. How do you know that their actually going to change and be better for you?
What if you’re going to be single for a long time?
So what? There are plenty of single people and plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t let someone let being alone for a while scare you into staying in an unhappy relationship. We’ve all made that mistake before and it usually ends badly anyway. Spare yourself.
How do you really feel?
Everyone can be quick to make a decision, but really think about the pros and cons of what you want to do. Maybe you’ll be surprised at what you decide if you really sleep on it.