I wish this was a joke.
This isn’t a joke.
You know why I live in the city instead of the suburbs? Because the city doesn’t have any fucking bears.
A family in Durango, Colorado, woke up to a stolen Subaru. However, it wasn’t a gang of kids being stupid and stealing cars. It was a fucking bear.
The bear apparently broke into the car, took a shit in it, and crashed it into the owner’s neighbors mailbox.
The car was discovered around 5:00 a.m. on Aug. 4.
According to the The Durango Herald, the neighbor, Ron Cornelius said:
“Usually, I don’t get up at 5 o’clock unless there is a bear driving a car down the street.”
When the La Plata County Sheriff’s Office they examined the car and determined it was the bear’s fault. The inside of the car was destroyed and had bear poo in it, the steering wheel had been torn off, the radio ripped out, and the back window broken.
Apparently, the bear had most likely released the parking break and the car began to roll backwards.
No words. There are just no words.