Facebook is Becoming the Ultimate Website and it Needs to be Stopped

Facebook

(AP Photo/Matt Rourke, File)

God fucking dammit, Facebook. Can you please just stay in your fucking lane? Not only are you going after Snapchat, but Yelp and Seamless as well? Can you please just chill the fuck out?

Facebook just announced today that they are starting to introduce a variety of new features that “help you use connections to discover new things in the world around you, decide what to do or where to go, and connect with local businesses in easier and faster ways.”

Facebook is starting off their website monopoly by taking on yelp with a new recommendations feature. When you write a Facebook post looking for advice on local places or services, you’ll have the option to turn on Recommendations for that post. If you turn on the feature, your friends can comment on your post with suggestions, and you’ll see all of them mapped out and saved in one place. You can also go to your Recommendations bookmark on Facebook to ask a new question or help your friends.

Next, Facebook revamped the Events bookmark, so you can catch up on the latest events activity from friends and hosts and browse event recommendations based on what’s popular with friends or events you’ve connected with in the past. This new version of the events dashboard will start to roll out in the US in the coming weeks.

Lastly, Facebook is trying to connect you with small businesses by creating their own empire. You can now:

  • Order food: You can now order food from restaurants directly from their Facebook Pages. Simply click “Start Order” on any restaurant’s Facebook Page that uses Delivery.com or Slice.
  • Request an appointment: For local businesses that require you to book an appointment, such as spas and salons, you can now request a time via the business’ Facebook Page and view their entire slate of services and offerings. They’ll then get back to you on Messenger to confirm your appointment.
  • Get a quote: Some local business Pages will now have a “Get Quote” button at the top that lets you easily and quickly request a quote from the business.
  • Get tickets to movies and events: For many new movies this fall, you can buy movie tickets straight from their Facebook Pages via Fandango. In partnership with Ticketmaster and Eventbrite, we’re also making it possible for people to get tickets to other events — free or paid — directly from the event page on Facebook.

Hey, Zuckerberg, why can’t you just, at the very least, put these new features towards a new website. Facebook has been basically taken over by the elderly who will never understand these new features, so what’s even the point?

[Via Engadget]

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Marissa Sblendorio

Writer of all things stage and screen, both theatrical and desktop. Part time film reviewer, full time video game enthusiast. Also known for bursting out into show tunes. Find me @MarissaSblen on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat.

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