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Five Summer Trends to Try Before Nuclear Winter Strikes

Summer is a time for fun, sun, and adventuring with friends. But as August winds down, you might think you’ve run out of time to check off that bucket list you wrote in June. No fear! While some things on that list might be close to long gone for 2017 – beach weeks, summer concerts, repairing broken diplomatic relationships – there are still so many ways to enjoy summer before the impending nuclear winter!

  1. Put fruit in your water: It’s never too late to start hydrating, and this is the perfect way to make it happen! Just slice up your favorite fruit and put it right in your glass. Let it sit for a few minutes, then fill it up with ice and you’ve got yourself a cool treat! You can even make it in reusable water bottles and have plenty ready to go when the radioactive waste pollutes the water supplies! And who doesn’t love strawberry slices in their glass? So cute!
  2. Go on a picnic: Picnics are so much fun, even into early fall! Just grab a blanket, your favorite snack, and a good book. All you need after that is a park and your favorite tree, which will almost immediately wilt away once the ash from the mushroom cloud infiltrates the air. Enjoy it now while the sun is still out! And how can you #makeitbetter? Invite some friends! Because after the bomb drops, it’s taking the phone lines down with them. So start a group chat! Make sure to use fun emojis like 🔥 💣💥
  3. Wear crop tops: That’s right ladies and gentlemen, there’s no wrong body for a crop top. Rock them now and show that belly before it gets too chilly once we lose direct sunlight! Don’t let the haters stop you, because they’ll probably be the first to go once anarchy strikes and people form factions to survive. Try this one from Forever 21 for an affordable way to rock this hot summer trend. ~ L O V E   I T ! ~
  4. Dye your hair fun colors: Linda from human resources can GET 👏  OVER 👏  IT 👏  because you are going full millennial pink! It’s time for a look that pushes you well out of your comfort zone, and summer is the best time to do it! Plus, everyone knows rebellion leaders always have funky hair, so you’re setting yourself up for your future career leading an underground city where everyone will only have first names! HELL YEAH GIRL!
  5. Go camping: This one is a no brainer, folks. Grab a few brews, pack some Doritos® (#notspon), and take to the forest, because nothing soothes the soul like a warm summer night. Fall asleep to the sound of the cicadas, our modern day locusts who remind us of the plague that once was, and that will be again. Sleep under the stars, because you won’t be able to see them through the mushroom cloud later. And enjoy that last bit of fresh air before you have to go back to the office, and, eventually, the bunker where you’ll live the rest of your life in a gas mask.
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