Everyone has their own variations of places to go and things to do during a first date. We all know the general goal of a first date is to get to know each other, and by this I mean actually get to know each other. None of this fake, pretending to be a proper lady thing – unless you are one of course.
My personal opinion about the perfect first date is that the actual activity matters less than the substance. I personally don’t really care where we go or what we do as long as several of my (very important) criteria is met:
- It’s planned in advance by the person I’m going on a date with (as in, more than 24 hours’ notice).
- It’s creative
- It’s a semblance of something the person likes to do and shows me who they are or what they’re about. (So if you hate the outdoors, don’t take me hiking. If you hate art, don’t take me painting.)
- We have the opportunity to have a conversation
Everything else is up to for grabs in my book. I can definitely tell you examples of excellent first dates I’ve been on and the things they all have in common center around these four things.
I did, however, ask several (okay… many) people I know for their input and I got a similar response from all of them. The best first date involves some sort of activity that’s engaging enough where the two people involved don’t have to sit there and stare at each other the ENTIRE time.
Activities that have been suggested include the following: bowling, painting classes, cooking classes, rock climbing, hiking, walking, billiards, bowling (please leave the “you’re playing with my balls” innuendo at home), and basically any sort of sport. For whatever reason, except for a select few people, my friends seem to find issue with the typical dinner date.
The men who found issue with a dinner date as a first date thought it was too committal, I heard from several say that it implies you have some sort of obligation towards the person even if the date goes poorly. I can see why an awkward car ride home might not be favorable, but I also think there’s no issue with letting the girl find her own way home if she couldn’t entertain you while you ate your sushi.
Women had a much deeper reason for not preferring dinner – they’re afraid to have to carry the entire conversation and not have a good time AND not have an escape plan. So apparently if you’re out bowling or something, it’s much easier to run away and leave the guy hanging, but at a dinner it’s highly inappropriate and just plain awkward.
While there’s clearly some dissonance on what’s preferred, I did manage to come up with a list of absolute DON’Ts:
- Don’t go to the movies
- Don’t go to a concert
- Don’t go to a noisy restaurant
- ABSOLUTELY NO BARS
- Don’t go to a club
- Don’t take them to your house/go to their house
My friends did generally agree with me that substance is very important but all expressed that the environment is important as well. I think what’s most important is that you’re genuine and you don’t fake enjoy something that would normally bring looks of disgust to your face. Just be you & you’ll be having second and third dates with the right person in no time.