Yes, its natural to look at other people’s relationship and envy them just a little bit. To be honest, I’ve done it on a couple of occasions. I can easily think of a few times I’ve seen a man open the door for his girlfriend or wife where I’ve turned around to my boyfriend, casually slapped his arm, and said “why can’t you do that?!”
It’s perfectly normal to think that another person has it better than you do, or even a couple is better off than you are in your relationship. However, you can’t and shouldn’t judge your relationship by what you think someone else has in theirs.
I get it though, we grew up with an immense amount of romantic comedies that show up that a relationship is supposed to be like. Unfortunately, life isn’t a rom-com and you really should take a look at your relationship and evaluate if you’re really happy with that you have.
You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors
The number one reason you should never compare your relationship to some else’s relationship is simply because you have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s relationship. Sure everything might seem perfect on the outside, but you really have no idea what the hell is going on behind closed doors.
How many times are you seen couples that seemingly look happy split up? Yeah, it’s because something that seems perfect on the outside usually isn’t on the inside. Trust me, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Because social media is a lie
This is why I hate social media: you sit there and look at bullshit pictures that someone filtered the life out of and they all seem so glamorous to you. These couples seem so in love; they look like they’re having the time of their lives together. Unfortunately, social media is a facade that most people use in order to make themselves feel better about there own life. Rather than focusing on social media, take a break from it altogether.
Once you log off of social media and forget about the couples you think are living the life you want, you’ll start realizing that you’re relationship isn’t that bad. Actually, it’s pretty fucking awesome.
You should be focusing on yourself
Instead of focusing on someone else’s relationship, you should be focusing on yours. Focus on makes yours better, stronger, more loving. While you focus all of your time thinking about the kind of relationship someone else has, you’re neglecting your own. In turn, your own relationship starts to fizzle because you’re not giving it the time and care it needs to grow.
If you spent half the amount of time worrying about your own relationship as you did pointing out how someone else’s might be better, yours would likely be amazing.
You can’t pick and choose
Before I ever got into a serious relationship my mother taught me one of the most important things I’ve ever learned. She said that in every relationship there’s going to be something that you’re going to have to put up with. Some craziness, some nonsense, something. She then said that I have to decide for myself the amount of and what kind of bullshit I’m willing to put up with. Essentially, she told me that everyone is an individual and unfortunately, you can’t customize a partner.
So, since you can’t pick and choose the qualities you really want in someone, you kind of have to take things as they come and see if you can deal with and be with okay with the specific brand of bullshit in your relationship.