Ugh where do I start. How much time do you have. Does every moment of every day count?
Below are my regrets… and counting.
1. All those hours spent watching Vanderpump Rules
2. Eating kale that one time
3. 95% of the guys I’ve been involved with
4. RSVPing to any event, ever
5. The one time I over-plucked my eyebrows
6. All the overnight camps I
was forced to go to went to as a kid
FUCK sleepaway camp. I want my mommy.
7. Agreeing to be set up
8. Not buying more Girl Scout Cookies
I could’ve frozen them!! Why didn’t you think ahead, Alex?!
9. That I live in a society with Donald Trump supporters
10. 99% of the times I shave my legs
There always turns out to be no reason for it anyway.
11. Buying so many candles
Like, I just could never burn as many candles as I own. Is there a charity that needs candles?
12. That Barbie exists.
And is marketed towards young girls.
13. Ever giving a shit
Like, there’s just no point.
14. Did I mention the guys I’ve dated?
15. That one time I let one of said guys convince me that ‘spiritual enlightenment’ by way of pot cookies was a sufficient/acceptable/not completely fucking stupid birthday present to me
16. That I never got a perm
I don’t know, I just feel like I missed out, you know?
17. That the Kardashians haven’t died collectively in a private family plane crash
18. That I didn’t embrace coffee sooner
I mean, where was I all these years?