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Why Your Netflix Queue Is Crucial To The Health of Your Relationship

When you’re in a relationship, you share things in a very powerful arrangement of trust. Your bed. Your car. Your shower. But now you have to share something that’s very personal. It’s an expression of yourself that defines you just like your taste in music and books: your Netflix account.

Do you let them in? Should they keep their own account, make a profile on yours, or (gasp) share one profile together? These are big questions. You cannot take the “chill” out of “Netflix and chill” without serious consequences. Before you take the plunge, here’s a few things to double-check about how they use their Netflix (or whatever streaming service floats your boat):

There Should Be Some Overlap

You have to have something in common. It’s a must. You may be different religions, ethnic background, or political party, but your Netflix account is sacred! You can’t let your precious stream of crime dramas be interrupted by another grade C disaster show featuring a genetically-modified monster that man should not have tampered with! Let them have their own profile if they insist on sharing. Nothing must disturb your inner sanctum.

Be Careful When You Mock

You may have smiled just now when I derided the likes of Sharknado, but some of you were genuinely offended. “That movie’s awesome!” They cried as they clicked away from this article and didn’t even get to this sentence. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and you need to tread carefully. Unless they are aware of the guilt that comes with their guilty pleasure, don’t make fun of their queue. How can you expect them to respect your space if you don’t respect theirs?

Delayed Gratification is Important

The days when you can watch a whole season together with your SO are glorious, but few and far between. Chances are good that you have to settle for one episode per night, even per week. You have to wait on the little things because jumping the gun on this leads to bigger things. What happens if you can’t wait? Why wouldn’t you get that ice cream by yourself? Or that Columbia Record Club membership? Or that loan? Where will it end? It’s a slippery slope that you should never approach because…

Cheating is Always Wrong

You may think you’re so clever and that they’ll never find out, but cheaters never prosper. You will get found out. You can’t escape the consequences and the wrath you will face for such a breach of trust. You will have lost any claim to the moral high ground because you couldn’t control yourself. Even if you’ve covered your tracks, reacted normally when you finally saw it together, and never told them what you did. But you know. You know, and that’s one person too many. You will forever be burdened by the weight of knowing until that weight becomes so heavy that you can’t breathe. And then you will die. It is never okay. Never once. And you can’t tolerate it from others. You deserve better. It is never okay.

Your Netflix is a part of you, and your SO is a part of you. If they can’t treat your queue right, you need to check that.

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