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Nobody Needed This: Paris Hilton’s New Single ‘I Need You’ is Exactly What You’d Expect

If you’re nostalgic for the early 2000s, you might be happy about the recent Paris Hilton resurgence. Hilton recently announced her engagement to actor Chris Zylka, complete with (of course), a giant rock. She even released her own version of Kanye West’s Yeezy Season 6 pics. Now, the socialite is making music once again. Hilton has been teasing her new single “I Need You” on her Instagram, such as this post that plays off of the most iconic scene from American Beauty:

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2 Days till #INeedYou 🌹

A post shared by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on

 

The single seems to be not-so-subtly dedicated to her fiancé, as she posted a fan edit featuring Zylka as one of the promotional posts:

 

Now, the wait is over. I’m sure everyone is on the edge of their seats, wondering what this masterpiece sounds like.

And what a song it is! Some of the more brilliant lyrics include:

  • “I wanna put / the Happy in your Birthday / And I wanna be / The Merry in your Christmas” (There are a LOT of brilliant holiday references in this eloquent ballad).
  • “You are the light / In my heart of darkness” (Who knew Paris was so dark?)
  • “You’re my baby love angel” (I’m not even sure what this means!)

Listen, it’s bad. Obviously. But…I don’t hate it?

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