What Orange is the New Black Can Teach Straight Men About Sex

OITNB

Lesbians aren’t the only ones who can benefit from the lusty ladies at Litchfield. There’s a thing or two that Orange is the New Black can teach straight men about sex as well. So instead of drooling over every set of breasts Netflix treats you to, try jotting down notes about what it takes to please a woman. Unless you want to end up like Larry, you should actually pay attention to what “Orange is the New Black” can teach straight men about sex.

  1. All About Oral
    News flash: women don’t actually need penetration in order to climax. Instead of shoving yourself into your girlfriend as soon as she hitches up her skirt, you can try stimulating her clit instead. The best way to do that is with your tongue, so don’t hesitate to get on your knees. Notice how often Nicky goes down on the women she hooks up with? The reason why everyone flocks to her probably has something to do with the amount of oral she offers.
  2. Find New Ways to Foreplay
    There are plenty of steamy scenes between Piper and Alex, and they don’t all involve sex. Remember the flashback that showed Piper giving Alex a striptease? What about when they danced together on Thanksgiving? Even though there was no kissing involved, it made for great foreplay. Keep that in mind the next time you want to drive your girlfriend crazy.
  3. Show, Don’t Tell
    Remember when Piper kept moaning about being close to climaxing and Alex whispered, “Shhh. Show, don’t tell?” That’s something that you should keep in mind the next time you get it on. Moans can be hot, but you don’t want to overdo it. Besides, if you’re in prison full of people or in a thin-walled room next to your parents, you don’t want anyone to hear you. Actions speak louder than words, you know.
  4. Lively Locations
    Boringly bland sex can feel a whole lot hotter when you switch up the location. While you probably shouldn’t get it on in a church like the Litchfield inmates do, you can always get extra steamy in the shower. Hey, it worked for Piper and Alex.
  5. Know Her Anatomy
    Remember when Sophia created a diagram to teach the ladies about their friend below the belt? You probably found their lack of knowledge comedic, but do you really know more than they do? Health class isn’t as helpful as it should be, so don’t be ashamed if you need to head to Google to check out a diagram of your own.
  6. Don’t Always Dominate
    You and your partner should take turns playing the dominant and submissive roles. Although Alex seems like she’d be the one to take the reigns, one of the hottest scenes is when Piper pulls Alex into the church to make out with her. That means you don’t always have to be the one in charge. Let your partner do the work every once in a while.

That’s right, Orange is the New Black isn’t just a fun show to binge watch—it’s also educational. If you steal these tips from the Litchfield ladies, you’ll become a stud in no time. Women will chase you like a chicken.

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